God is Not Done Yet

The birthday month is about to end. Another new month is raring to start. And yes, the snow is gone, the weeds have come. (I spent a whole day pulling weeds last Sunday that my hand hurts.)

I have reached a milestone in life. I'm 40. But at 40, I don't feel like I have arrived. Not yet. Actually, it feels more like I'm just beginning. Like, I am learning to softly close doors and walk in to where I'm finally feeling more at home. Things like I want to do and I want to be.

But I have a problem. I can go on and on. I have a hard time finishing up what I have started.

I have been starting posts but unable to finish them, just as I have done with many writing projects. Now I wonder when I will get to be done with them... and get them posted/published.

But here's what I am certain.

He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

(Philippians 1:6)

I could end this post right now with an "Amen!", but that would be premature.

And so, even as I'm typing here, God is working. Hence, the mess as the renovation, uh, reformation is going on.

And as many ladies are familiar with, having a makeover done halfway is not the way to do the job. Just imagine, girls, going home with only one side of your head sporting bouncy curls while the other side is limp as spaghetti. Or your barber, guys, decided to quit at what he's been doing after he has shaved the hair behind your right ear and go home with a totally unexpected look that even the dogs bark at you on your way home. You don't want that.

I don't want it either. I don't want to be half-done. because being half-done is not being done at all. So here I am at my big four-oh raring for what He has in store. And here's what I'm expecting... (and which, I am fervently praying I am getting now.)

Total Makeover!!!

1. ...of my selfish heart.

As someone has said, "Helping others is your best shot at scoring in the game of life." Service may not be so attractive to our world conditioned to seek what is comfortable and easy, but for those who seek to live the life God wants them--- growing and fruitful--- it is the only way to go. Jesus said, "If you give up your life for me, you will find true life." (Matthew 16:25).

But I have a selfish heart, carnal and egotistical. Only God can change it, only Him can shape it after His own.

 All that He needs from me is to give my whole heart to Him and leave it there.

An inspired author wrote: "It is impossible for us, of ourselves, to escape from the pit of sin in which we are sunken. Our hearts are evil, and we cannot change them. "Who can bring a clean thing out of an unclean? not one." "The carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be." (Job 14:4; Romans 8:7). Education, culture, the exercise of the will, human effort, all have their proper sphere, but here they are powerless. They may produce an outward correctness of behavior, but they cannot change the heart; they cannot purify the springs of life. There must be a power working from within, a new life from above, before men can be changed from sin to holiness. That power is Christ. His grace alone can quicken the lifeless faculties of the soul, and attract it to God, to holiness" (E. White, Steps to Christ, 18).

2. ...of my relationships, starting with Him.

Oh, how we long to have wonderful relationships, without the tension and conflicts that often times come with it. But living in a world racked with sin and a body genetically modified with it, our relationships go, if not bad, then worst. And if we are in loving relationships, we are one of the fortunate ones... or simply, we have learned what it means to forgive.

Yes, forgiveness. We have to offer it everyday, just as we receive it daily. Jesus taught us to pray: "Forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us." (Matthew 6:12). 

The first step to having a right relationship with God and man is forgiveness. "How shall a man be just with God? How shall the sinner be made righteous? It is only through Christ that we can be brought into harmony with God, with holiness; but how are we to come to Christ? Many are asking the same question as did the multitude on the Day of Pentecost, when, convicted of sin, they cried out, "What shall we do?" The first word of Peter's answer was, "Repent." (Acts 2:37, 38). At another time, shortly after, he said, "Repent, . . . and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out"
(Acts 3:19), (STC, 23)

But we wait too long. We wait for the right moment. We wait until we are good.

Come as you are. Go and ask forgiveness to whoever wronged you. "If you see your sinfulness, do not wait to make yourself better. How many there are who think they are not good enough to come to Christ. Do you expect to become better through your own efforts? "Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil." (Jeremiah 13:23). There is help for us only in God. We must not wait for stronger persuasions, for better opportunities, or for holier tempers. We can do nothing of ourselves. We must come to Christ just as we are" (E. White, STC, 31).

And as He changes me, so does He change my relationships as I bring them to Him, whether my relationship with my husband, or my son, or my boss, or my students. Even with my MIL, with whom I thought I was making progress with by ignoring each other, then suddenly she wakes up or comes home and wants a fight... even that.

No, change doesn't start with us, it starts with Him.

If you are going through some rough, tumbly times that you just can't handle and makes you wonder that maybe, maybe you don't deserve a peaceful, harmonious life, DON"T MAKE IT AN EXCUSE to run away from God and into the arms of something that you may be sorry later. Run to Him. Plead with Him all the more. Imitate the persistence of that gentile woman, who sought healing for her demon-possessed daughter, and who kept pleading with Jesus even after He had to turn her away. She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the little dogs eat the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table” (Matthew 15:27). And the Savior was amazed. He said, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be to you as you desire.” And her daughter was healed from that very hour (v. 28).

Yes, come to Him and bring whatever it is that stops you from giving your heart to Him. He knows what to do with the demons inside us--- the addictions, the tendency to get distracted and wander, the troubles and storms. Bring them to Him. He is not interested in our strength, but in our dependence on Him. He is our refuge and help.

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. 

(Psalm 46:1)

And as I move on to the new season of my life, I invite you to journey on with me, as I hold on to His promise that He'll soften the rough edges in me, bring out the best of what He has given me, take out the dross, wash me, cleanse me, complete me. Only He can do that.

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,

And to present you faultless

Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,

To God our Savior,

Who alone is wise,

Be glory and majesty,

Dominion and power,

Both now and forever.

Amen.

(Jude 1:24, 25)

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My Story in a Nutshell: Celebrating Years of God's Goodness and Mercy
On Over-Grown Hair, Growing Old, and Living Forward
Getting a Sense of Direction

The Taste of Loneliness and The Antidote (Poetry)

The Taste of Loneliness

The taste of loneliness is such
a bitter pill refusing to budge
stays in place
on the tongue

a language I barely speak, of joy
felt, forgotten like rain in June
in a hot,
desert land

where no man is friend or foe
just that--- nothing. Indifferent:
dying, dying, gone
with ennui.

Kids, Temperament, Motivation and The Pattern

Misha is all for fun.

Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

Proverbs 20:11

A few days ago, I could almost smell summer in the air: bright sunshine, sweat, bicycle oil. Then two nights ago a snowstorm came bringing with it loads and loads of snow... and beautiful snowflakes spiraling in the air in the morning. And no electricity.

As school was cancelled, I was left with four kids without the help of modern devices. What to do?
I watched.

I watched the snowflakes. Beautiful, intricate in all it's design, then read about it. Fascinating.

I watched the kids in each of their own beautiful personalities trying to combat boredom in their own special way (as God has made them). Then blog about it. Extremely fascinating.

I looked like I was reading, but with all the activity going on, how can one even concentrate? This momma is on to another study, one that has begun since I had child #1. My lab goes like this...

5 Songs to Keep the Rhythm of Life

Music is a big part of life. Well, for me, anyway.

But there was a time I ignored it to avoid conflict. The rhythm of my life stood still. Oh, how dull it was. (And no, it didn't help to endear me to that one person.) I've learned from then on, not to compromise who I am and my life to other people's whims, much more my worship to my God. Because music and life, and all our creative gifts, come from Him. Though it could be used for something else, the whole of it is a means of worship when He is acknowledged and these gifts are dedicated to Him.

Through the years as I've grown, so has my appreciation for music and the experiences that people, who wrote them, go through. Today, I thought of sharing them with you. I have included a little bit of background of the songs and why these songs should at least be heard given the time one needs them. They are not in any kind of order.

Grace

Spring by Russian artist Stanislav Zhukovsky

I came in peace, I sowed discord.
I sought to belong, I got rejection.
I wanted love, I found animosity.
I long for family, I made an enemy.

Through it all, God answered my needs.
Grace for all my frustrations, my emotions,
Grace for depression, for desperation,
Grace for arid valleys and destructive storms,
Sufficient grace even before I call.

In my struggles and restlessness,
He brought quiet rest.
I wrestle for rights, for supremacy,
I see His full glory in humility.

So I bowed as He took on Himself my faults.
Grace for all my weaknesses, my peccadilloes.
Grace for my inability, my futility,
Grace for fruitless years and empty life,
Abundant grace for a sinner such as me.

In victory I stand as I embrace His promises.
I conquer on my knees in Jesus' blessed name.
I overcome as He holds me--- Jesus, hold me.
I give grace, for Your grace is enough for me.

Copyright © 2017 zernahfaith

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,

 for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 

Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, 

that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

(2 Corinthians 12:9)

*The verses above came about as I reflected on Abigail's life and example, and of course, I couldn't help but look on my own life and reactions. You may read Abigail's story on 1 Samuel 25. She is one amazing woman who, instead of focusing on injustice and rejection, chose to live in grace and give grace. She didn't dwell on her arid valleys but instead stored up in abundance kindness and generosity. When her moment came, the one where only she could avert disaster and use the gifts God had given her, she was more than ready. She rose up to the occasion.

I more than know that we often have our "arid valleys" and "destructive storms", whether brought on by circumstances or our own sinful tendencies, they cause us to cry out against God or to God. Whatever you choose to do, God's grace is abundantly made available for you. It is there to meet our every need. It is there to fill up our nothingness. It is there to grasp and hold on--- sufficient to the day, hour, minute, and moment of trial and weakness. Let Him hold you. His grace is enough.





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Beauty
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Embracing God's Promises

Courage

I have decided to follow Jesus. I've sung this since I was wearing childish bangs. These past few weeks, though, I have found myself needing some dose of courage. And true to His words, God provided me the encouragement to be brave.

I know I had been putting the decision off, thinking somehow that if I don't do anything or speak at all it will resolve itself. (Isn't that what we often wish? As if, evolution works!) But God works and in His mysterious way, He got my attention. Now I'm on to it and like a dog with a bone, I won't let go until I get my answer. The right one--- in line with His law of love.

I'm talking about being a mother, one who is given the responsibility to protect and raise God's children, providing them what they need and nurturing them to grow in the knowledge and grace of their Ultimate Parent. Because as women, we are builders of our homes. "The wise woman builds her house" (Proverbs 14:1). 

Bus Ride

A ride on the bus through the city
Revealed to me more than there was to see,
Not just the torrent of wet snow on the panes,
Nor the mud on my boots mucking up the lanes.

I saw a teenage girl with a guitar on her back,
Roomy clothes, cap turned back, a fashion slack.
I saw the guitar peeking through an unzipped bag
That got me worried like I've seen a red flag.

What if the guitar will fall through and crash?
Maybe I should zip it up as this girl had been in a rush.
But before I could, I glance up to see
A woman coming in shaking off all that flurry.

With damp hair sticking to her crown,
All that snow, as wet as rain, has pulled it down.
All the past efforts to coif and polish and style
Now all gone with the weather turning juvenile.

I consider--- some may be ready, some are not
Life still goes on whatever may be your plot.
Believe the Driver will get you There
'Cause if not, you might as well be going nowhere.

A young girl of ten, her jacket in rainbow hue
And the bounce on each step drew a few
Glances and smiles from every side---
Don't take it too hard, life's a bus ride.

Copyright © 2017 zernahfaith

• I wrote this while riding on the bus on my way to an evening class yesterday. Must have been the weather setting up the mood--- wet, slushy snow going straight to my face, and those who missed, lie churlishly on the ground. People, though, weren't minding it too much. For me, it was quite enjoyable. Then, there was all that people on the bus. And I love watching people. :)
• This is for all the women--- whatever type of woman you are, because a woman can be many types or all types if she wants--- who bring smiles, and beauty (and wit and life, because we do bring lots of stuff) on a bus ride. Happy Women's Day (for March 8th)!
• Finally, here's what this "ride" is really all about. 

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 

My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, 

would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 

And if I go and prepare a place for you, 

I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 

You know the way to the place where I am going.”

(John 14:1~4)

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