Showing posts with label divine love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divine love. Show all posts

Friday, September 1, 2017

When You're About to Give Up

www.zernahfaith.blogspot.com
Blow after blow. Life delivers accurately like a boxer's punches hitting you where it hurts the most. What do you do? Buckle down? Throw up your hands and run? Or hide? Or say, "Where is God?" Doubting Him as if He hasn't cared enough, loved enough or given enough proof that He does?

Sounds like Job's wife.

There was a great man named Job, God-fearing and blameless, who had everything--- a beautiful family and great possessions--- all that any man could dream of during his time. Then out of nowhere (for Job), catastrophe after catastrophe fell and he lost his children and all his possessions. Next, he got boils, painful to the core and occupying freely his skin from head to soles. That's when his wife spoke up: “Do you still hold fast to your integrity? Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9).

It's so easy to turn into Job's wife, when the loving and responsible man you envisioned your husband to be morphs into less than what he seems, when the family you've wanted become a constant reminder of your weaknesses, when you're fighting the strong current of recession or onslaught of disease, or when you're simply trying to keep your head above a business fast sinking or stress at school or work.

Recently I had a similar sentiment as Job's wife, even as I felt like I couldn't recover from another blow. But I heard Job reprimanding me, "Don't be foolish!" And I realized the blow was more on my pride than what I thought was my faith. Oh, I, of little faith!

And for days, I was a wimp. I wasn't strong, even as Christian friends encouraged me. I wasn't brave, nor happy, or hopeful. I was disappointed, frustrated and full of regrets--- if only...

Until a memory in Facebook reminded me of what I had written two years ago, when I was away from my husband and children, and all my longing was centered on being back with them. Ironically, now that I'd gotten what I wanted, I realized that it was really not what I wanted. I want a Christian home. Year after year, night and day, I struggled to keep my family together in walking with the Lord. And there were plenty of times I felt alone.

So there I was, wanting my something but the nothing was not an option. I have to settle for what I have and what I have is imperfect.

I didn't like that. As the days passed and I wallow in pity, having a party no one else can join, and mad at God, Job spoke to me... and a cup, too.

Job's voice in my thoughts as he reprimanded his wife:

“You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. 
Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” (Job 2:10).

 Right after, I heard him worship God, 

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked shall I return there.
The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
(Job 1:21)

I felt foolish. 

When Jesus bore that cross on His shoulders, no sound of whining escaped His mouth. After all, that cross was supposed to be mine. When He hanged there with a broken heart, He did so without regret, because He loves me. How can I ever doubt that He cares? 

I thought marriage had made me better. And motherhood. And all those books and courses. And sermons and Bible studies. And life lessons and experiences. And people I've met and know. But I failed. And in failing, I blamed God for not changing my circumstances and the people around me. After all these years.

God though is merciful. I didn't get what I deserve--- a spank on the bottom. Instead, I got a picture of a cup, imperfect but beautiful with its rough edges.

One imperfect cup as made by a famous ceramic artist, told me there's beauty in imperfection. Ah, yes, and in authenticity. I know my reaction to my situation was totally uncalled for for a Christian and that was why I felt disappointed. In myself. I thought I knew better. I thought I was on my way, as I long for, to becoming a better person, one with God's Kingdom in her. But, no, I still run out of faith.

And there I was, with faith dead as the ashes. And with anything dead, only God can bring back to life. So even as faith died, God was there.

Remember Elijah? He felt alone, praying himself dead and hid himself in a cave (1 King 19:9,10). But even with His lack of faith, God was there.

David, despite committing a great sin, knew this for sure. "The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?" (Psalm 118:6).

In all our struggles, God is with us. We are never alone, even when we feel that we are.

And all those rough spots in our character and life? All those out of our control? Ah, the Lord is still in control, especially, with all those that are out of our control. He is still God. He makes our rough edges beautiful--- stripping us of the cover-ups and masks that we put on to hide our real selves and our self-sufficiency. We may appear imperfect, but in His hands we are beautiful, fitted to reveal His glory. Because, yes, we were made for His glory and His alone.

So tonight, I want to worship with Job: The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord!





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Monday, July 10, 2017

Today: On the Lord's Highway

zernahfaith.blogspot.com
Three days of sunshine! Yes, we got three days of sunshine and it was wonderful. But today, we have rain. Beautiful rain, creating diamonds on trees and making everything sparkle, like eyes full of anticipation, for the sun that will come again.

And there's more to anticipate and get excited about--- Jesus is coming soon!

The voice of one crying in the wilderness:
“Prepare the way of the Lord;
Make straight in the desert
A highway for our God." (Isaiah 40:3)

We are to prepare for His coming... His highway.

But we know how easy it is to relegate that fact at the back of our minds as we day in and day out trudge through what is before us. And it is so easy to forget it, unless we invite Him into our lives, day by day by day. For, yes, that's how He come to us even as we prepare for His coming.

Before Jesus left, He promised His disciples:

“If you love me, keep my commandments.
I will pray to the Father, and he will give you another Counselor,
that he may be with you forever—
the Spirit of truth, whom the world can’t receive;
for it doesn’t see him, neither knows him.
You know him, for he lives with you, and will be in you.
I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you.
Yet a little while, and the world will see me no more;
but you will see me. Because I live, you will live also.” (John 14:15-19)

Almost four years ago, I lost my parents in a storm. They were godly people. What I missed most was their presence and guidance. We know that even how old we get, we still need our parents, for the most part, because they are the only ones who can love us unconditionally here in this earth. So I despaired: who can I go now to ask for help, for advice or when I have a problem? But when I read the Bible and saw the word "orphan" (because that is what I am now), I was comforted at how God loves orphans.

Jesus is saying to us, "I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you." And He does. Day by day, He comes to us in the form of the Holy Spirit.

However, He needs our invitation.

Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. (Revelation 3:20)

He wants to dine with us, to talk with us, to share and do life with us. But by our invitation. Today.

Maybe you invited Him yesterday, or last week, or last month. However, that won't do.

When I was Korea, I always look forward to visits in a Korean restaurant to get some hanjeonshik. Variety of Korean dishes are spread out on a low table, and when I see the amount of food, I would often think that I wouldn't be able to eat them, only to find out that I'd want more. Going out, I'd feel so full that I would think I won't need to eat for even a week, but a few a hours later, I'd realize that I still need to eat even after all that food.

What I ate yesterday cannot sustain me through tomorrow. So I ate today. But it won't be long before I will eat again. However, there's a more important sustenance that we need today--- God's presence through the Holy Spirit.

Before Jesus started His public ministry, He went to fast for forty days and forty nights to fully depend on divine power, being unconfident of His humanity. Only by the Spirit of God was He able to get through that long period of time without food. And even after Satan's temptation, and being weak physically, He was able to resist by reciting God's Word and saying, "It is written..."

By this, Jesus shows that our battle against our weak self and the temptations surrounding us can only be won by depending on God alone, not even the bread that we eat daily can get us through. He said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4).

By His Word, we live. By His Spirit, we move and have our being. By His presence, we have fullness of joy that will get us, as William Miller said, setting a new date of our Lord's coming, "today, TODAY and TODAY... until He comes, and I see Him for whom my soul yearns" (quoted in F.D. Nichol, The Midnight Cry, 267)

Today, we do not have to live like orphans. Jesus comes. Invite Him today.






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Friday, May 19, 2017

The Taste of Loneliness and The Antidote (Poetry)



The Taste of Loneliness

The taste of loneliness is such
a bitter pill refusing to budge
stays in place
on the tongue

a language I barely speak, of joy
felt, forgotten like rain in June
in a hot,
desert land

where no man is friend or foe
just that--- nothing. Indifferent:
dying, dying, gone
with ennui.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Kids, Temperament, Motivation and The Pattern

Misha is all for fun.
Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.
Proverbs 20:11


A few days ago, I could almost smell summer in the air: bright sunshine, sweat, bicycle oil. Then two nights ago a snowstorm came bringing with it loads and loads of snow... and beautiful snowflakes spiraling in the air in the morning. And no electricity.

As school was cancelled, I was left with four kids without the help of modern devices. What to do?
I watched.

I watched the snowflakes. Beautiful, intricate in all it's design, then read about it. Fascinating.

I watched the kids in each of their own beautiful personalities trying to combat boredom in their own special way (as God has made them). Then blog about it. Extremely fascinating.

I looked like I was reading, but with all the activity going on, how can one even concentrate? This momma is on to another study, one that has begun since I had child #1. My lab goes like this...

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

5 Songs to Keep the Rhythm of Life

Music is a big part of life. Well, for me, anyway.

But there was a time I ignored it to avoid conflict. The rhythm of my life stood still. Oh, how dull it was. (And no, it didn't help to endear me to that one person.) I've learned from then on, not to compromise who I am and my life to other people's whims, much more my worship to my God. Because music and life, and all our creative gifts, come from Him. Though it could be used for something else, the whole of it is a means of worship when He is acknowledged and these gifts are dedicated to Him.

Through the years as I've grown, so has my appreciation for music and the experiences that people, who wrote them, go through. Today, I thought of sharing them with you. I have included a little bit of background of the songs and why these songs should at least be heard given the time one needs them. They are not in any kind of order.


Monday, March 27, 2017

Grace

Spring by Russian artist Stanislav Zhukovsky
I came in peace, I sowed discord.
I sought to belong, I got rejection.
I wanted love, I found animosity.
I long for family, I made an enemy.

Through it all, God answered my needs.
Grace for all my frustrations, my emotions,
Grace for depression, for desperation,
Grace for arid valleys and destructive storms,
Sufficient grace even before I call.

In my struggles and restlessness,
He brought quiet rest.
I wrestle for rights, for supremacy,
I see His full glory in humility.

So I bowed as He took on Himself my faults.
Grace for all my weaknesses, my peccadilloes.
Grace for my inability, my futility,
Grace for fruitless years and empty life,
Abundant grace for a sinner such as me.

In victory I stand as I embrace His promises.
I conquer on my knees in Jesus' blessed name.
I overcome as He holds me--- Jesus, hold me.
I give grace, for Your grace is enough for me.

Copyright © 2017 zernahfaith



And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
 for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 
Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, 
that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
(2 Corinthians 12:9)



*The verses above came about as I reflected on Abigail's life and example, and of course, I couldn't help but look on my own life and reactions. You may read Abigail's story on 1 Samuel 25. She is one amazing woman who, instead of focusing on injustice and rejection, chose to live in grace and give grace. She didn't dwell on her arid valleys but instead stored up in abundance kindness and generosity. When her moment came, the one where only she could avert disaster and use the gifts God had given her, she was more than ready. She rose up to the occasion.

I more than know that we often have our "arid valleys" and "destructive storms", whether brought on by circumstances or our own sinful tendencies, they cause us to cry out against God or to God. Whatever you choose to do, God's grace is abundantly made available for you. It is there to meet our every need. It is there to fill up our nothingness. It is there to grasp and hold on--- sufficient to the day, hour, minute, and moment of trial and weakness. Let Him hold you. His grace is enough.





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Saturday, February 11, 2017

A Pimple, Pain and Praise

Today's blog is a simple praise to the God above. And it starts with

A pimple. One that was inside one of my nostrils exactly a week ago, and which I couldn't squeeze out of oblivion. Instead it swelled rendering me helpless, irritated and scared.

God is gracious. He is giving and generous. I have seen my plate full---prepared by a loving God--- that it wasn't easy choosing which enjoyable plat du jour to relish for the moment. I have family and friends I cherish, wonderful people I meet and learn with--- who challenge and stimulate growth--- a work I love and plenty of dreams taking shape right at this moment. I have no cause to complain, none at all, only many reasons to praise and worship Him. And foremost is because He is God, my God.

With hands full, I am doing a balancing act and along the way, I must have dropped a ball. Or simply, a pimple grew. But it gave me such terrible discomfort that I thought it was a death sentence. (Yeah, I am a cracked pot in many ways. Thank God, He holds me together in one place.)

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Wellspring of Life

The temperature continues to fall as we draw closer to the heart of winter. And as it does, life throbs on unperturbed at its harshness and chill. Some may wonder how one stays cheery, much more passionate at the constant onslaught of coldness and terribly inhumane treatment. But there's something I want to tell you today.

The wellspring of life--- the heart--- stays warm as you guard and care for it.

Today has been an interesting day for me, not because of some big event or happening, but because of the bits and pieces that make up life. I had a conversation with my teen friends about the new year, growing old and something about fellowship/friendship/relationship. Here's what happened after they filed into the classroom bringing with them the mud from the melting snow. (We laughed as we saw how the floor was turned into something resembling that of a rice paddy with the amount of mud the teens' boots brought in.)

"So, are you, guys, looking forward to the new year?" I asked, thinking that everybody must be as excited as I am at the thought of the coming new year. I didn't expect the reply.

"No."

"No?" I asked, genuinely surprised. "Why?" I wanted to know what was so terrible about the coming year that my teen friends are not so happy about it. More difficult schoolwork? Loads more homework? A national exam to face? What? The response stumped me further.

Sunday, October 16, 2016

7 Tips for a Joy-filled Parenting

"Good morning, Mom!"

Startled, I woke up from a deep sleep. I groaned. I still wanted to sleep, so I ignored the cheery voice, which was too cheery for a Saturday morning. Why can't I get an extra hour of sleep today like everyone does before my day starts and ends again at 12:00 midnight?

The childish voice came again, "Good morning, Mom! Wake up!" So I replied, "Mama is still sleepy. Please lie down again," trying to sound as sleepy as I could.

"Mama, wake up," the 'little dawn' shines, more insistently this time. So I rolled out of bed, head pounding and scooped my little toddler out of her crib (still didn't get to moving her to a toddler bed, no budget yet) and towards her potty. She held her arms wide open, ready to hug me tight, with a huge, bright smile on her face. I couldn't help but smile back and whisper, "Good morning, Roxy," as her little arms embraced the whole of my heart.

My day has officially began.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Autumn Song

As the leaves change their colors
As the wind blows yet unseen
As my eyes wander at the beauty around me
My mind tries to grasp Your majesty.

Power, authority, is Yours alone
But what really moves me
Are Your mercies new daily.

Unfailing love that holds me
Lifting me up to a place of dignity
Where I cannot walk on my own
But You've walked this road
Yes, Lord, You've walked
To carry me home.

I hear the children's laughter
The best music there is
My heart is rich with longing for the day
When You'll be calling out my name.

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

I'm Coming Home!: Helping a Child with Trauma

A storm is brewing in the horizon as I'm writing this. And my husband is looking for the cat before it gets caught in it. The sky is in different shades of iron, from silvery gray to almost black. It is awesome to watch it. Through the windows from the safety of the house.

We were outside a few hours ago, as the kids and I often are one or two times in a day, to simply play and breath in fresh air. But the wind was blowing so vigorously, even throwing sand into our faces, that it got me thinking that if we were in the Philippines, we would've been in a dangerous situation just being outside. All kinds of stuff would have been flying around already. It brought to mind "the storm that changed my life".

Well, it was not only me who remembered that. Because as I was waking up my biggest girl, who was enjoying the last remaining days of her vacation sleeping in before she starts school again in a couple of days, responded to my cheery "Good morning!" as I drew the curtains, "The weather is scary!" And what can I say to that? To someone whose recurring nightmares, especially when awake, consists of whipping winds, floods, and being alone?

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Name Game

Angelika's artwork of the backyard and the flowers.
It's early summer and beautiful meadows are everywhere with their flowers of golden yellow and blues. Even the backyard looks fantastic with these tiny flowers and when it's time to mow the lawn, it's hard to see them go. I don't even know the names of these flowers, only that they look so charming.

Well, I can't put a name on myself, either. Okay, literally, people are confused on how to call me. (Come on people, we've been on this before! See post What's My Name?) Recently, I have been called Risa, which is rice in Russian, because my name here is pronounced Z-ur-na. It is similar in sound to some kind of grain. Then there's Jorna. Never mind where that comes from.

Figuratively, however, it has only been a few years since I have come to put a name on myself. But here goes the online tests which claim that they know me just by my name or my picture. (I know almost all, if not all, know what I'm talking about here. You can't resist those online tests too! Admit it...) I had pretty amusing moments laughing at the results. Some are quite accurate, others are barely there, still others are just pure flattery or feel-good statements or downright baloney.

One of the results told me : Zernah, You are brilliant and stubborn! Another one said that I am... Brave. Fearless. Never gives up. And the word that describes me perfectly is Beautiful. Then, another said that I am Benevolent. (I wasn't certain what it means, so I googled up the word.) Here's another one, but not just one word. With a name like yours, you were meant to travel to the beat of your own drum! You have always been the type of person who likes to approach the world differently. Sometimes, it might get you into trouble, but you are always able to stay positive no matter the situation. You were born with a unique gift to share with the world and you are a bright star that will bring joy and happiness to those that surround you! Never lose sight of how special you are!

Woah! The words sound pretty good, right? (I intentionally made them bold, colorful and large so you'll color with envy or cringe in embarrassment, or roll around with hilarity, or throw up in disgust. Ha! That's a multiple choice... statement.) But how about the days when I'm not brave or beautiful or benevolent? Or when all I want is to fit in and keep any attention away from me? Does that make me less of me?

I have been called other names, too, ones that are not so wonderful, while others are downright degrading. There's 'crazy', 'stupid' and 'ugly'-- I have heard in a few different languages. Ah, even looking at these words take me down the twisted road. They are childish and often uttered with a purpose to hurt and break someone down. Let's back up.

When I mentioned above that it has only been a few years since I've come to know who I really am, I am not exaggerating. It's a hard job. Some people have left home and loved ones just to sort of "find themselves". But I didn't have to do that. Instead, God put a desire in me to know Him more and to grow in Him. He placed me in different circumstances and places--- and the result is a journey of adventure to His heart. I wouldn't exchange it for anything (even if I do whine or throw tantrums whenever things go out of hand-- my hand).

In knowing God, I began to know myself, who I really am, and what I am going to be. I know exactly where I fit in. I Have been created to do so even before the world began. I just love what the Bible says, not only about me, but all of us. (Tip: Please read the verses below slowly. Relish every word.)

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, 
who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 
just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, 
that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love, 
having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, 
according to the good pleasure of His will, 
to the praise of the glory of His grace, 
by which He made us accepted in the Beloved.


In Him we have redemption through His blood, 
the forgiveness of sins, 
according to the riches of His grace which He made to abound toward us 
in all wisdom and prudence, 
having made known to us the mystery of His will, 
according to His good pleasure which He purposed in Himself, 
that in the dispensation of the fullness of the times 
He might gather together in one all things in Christ, 
both which are in heaven and which are on earth—in Him. 
In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, 
being predestined according to the purpose of Him 
who works all things according to the counsel of His will, 
that we who first trusted in Christ should be to the praise of His glory. 
(Ephesians 1:3-12)


I was made for His praise and be with Him.

We have myopic eyes. But it's not a surprise, considering what we often see and hear, or what we choose to watch and listen to. Often we are told that we are not good enough--- there's someone out there more beautiful with plumped up lips, sultry eyes and thinner than knife body. Or we are not smart enough, or more professional, or creative, or more put-together. So we strive and we lose ourselves, the one God has made. And since there's something missing in us, we struggle to fill it with something that gives us significance, be it possessions, profession, prestige, places (travel) or even the good things--- people (husband, family, friends, etc.). Oh, the many ways we lose ourselves!

But there is only one way to find ourselves again--- only in Him, who made us and loves us and wants to be with us. If you are in doubt, read the verses again above. (This time slower.)

In Him, I found who I am through His eyes.
I am...
His friend (John 15:14).
An heir (Galatians 4:7).
His letter (2 Corinthians 3:3).
His temple (1 Corinthians 6:19).
His servant (Acts 16:17).
Strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).
His chosen (1 Peter 2:9).
Called (Romans 1:6).
His beloved (Romans 1:7).
His child (John 1:12).
And you are too, when you give your life to Him, just as He has given His life to you.

Many people have asked me what my name means. I really don't know. It's a name given out of love. My parents decided to give both of their names to me by combining the last letters of their names: Eliezer and Myrna equals Zernah. (Isn't that sweet?) So while other children grew up with their names and their meanings, I grew up with my parents'. And with their lives. I appreciate what they had given me--- a good name.

Like the flowers, with their scientific-and-exotic-Latin-sounding names, out there glowing, I'll glow with God's light with a good name, even on days when I don't feel benevolent, beautiful, or brave. Because He takes care of it. It's His thing. A favorite quote keeps me in line whenever I forget...


"(God) has surrounded you with beauty to teach you that you are not placed on earth merely to delve for self, to dig and build, to toil and spin, but to make life bright and joyous and beautiful with the love of Christ---like the flowers, to gladden other lives by the ministry of love." (E.G. White, TMB)






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Thursday, June 30, 2016

Like Little Children

The church's backyard was turned into a small playground for three days, with excited shrieks and squeals of happy children. We just concluded a few days of Summer Bible School and every time it was time to load up the church van for the ride home, there were many reluctant feet who still wanted to jump, run and skip. I could understand. Not only did they make new friends, studied the Bible, do interesting crafts and play, but they also had fun while getting to know their Creator and His purpose for them.

Children's Day was almost a month ago. Precisely, thirty days from today, which makes it June 1st. This tells me that this piece has been in writing for that long time. Somehow, with the children being on vacation, I couldn't sit down long enough to muster some thoughts and put them down in writing. Instead, I have been busy doing a tour of the playgrounds with them, snatching their bikes from them and riding off, patching knee scrapes, and doing rounds of changing and washing of their dirty clothes.

When I was in Korea, Children's Day was on May 5th. It consisted of a lot of happy, excited children and some over-zealous parents and some who are mildly so, buying presents, the latter group only doing for the reason that they don't want their children to feel left out. Aside from that, some special activity should be in the offing--- a trip to Everland (an amusement park) or some water park. My husband and I saw ourselves as excited as the children (and broke, too) every time that day came around.

But Children's Day in Russia is quieter. Or maybe, it's just me, the foreigner. Well, I can understand the difference from both countries. It hasn't been long when people have started to see children as blessing and not as burden in this vast land. After communism fell, life was very hard. And the more children, the harder it must have been. I am a spectacle with my brood--- all four of them--- especially to old people, every time I go out.  It's almost like I committed some sin by having that many children. (Maybe my offense is flaunting. I like to show my children off. 😊) But I have since met young couples who want to have many children or who love children and want to raise them.

Children are a blessing. I have found this out long before I had my own. I worked as a missionary in Korea, and spent most of my active hours with them. At one time, I even decided (before I met my loving husband)I not to get married, but adopt a few and raise them up myself.

Well, I have long realized that children are excellent teachers. They taught me how to enjoy each moment. They made me derive so much pleasure and fun from the simplest and littlest of things. They made me laugh, get on my silly side, dream wild and free, work hard, get curious and ask questions and, well, have a life--- one that's good and rich. I'll always be grateful to God for them, whether they are mine or not.

Some time ago, people have no idea who children are. Well, we can't blame them because even with all the research and information that we have now, some people still have this archaic idea of children. They were treated like mini-adults. They work, they do almost all that adults do. Here's a fact.

"Until the 17th century in Europe, there was no concept of "childhood". Instead, children were simply thought of as miniature adults. They were assumed to be subject to the same needs and desires as adults, to have the same vices and  virtues as adults, and to warrant no more privileges than adults. They were dressed the same as adults, and their work hours were the same as adults. Children also received the same punishments for misdeeds. If they stole, they were hanged; if they did well, they could achieve prosperity, at least so far as their station in life or social class would allow. "
(Aries, 1962; Acocella, 2003; Hutton, 2004 as cited by R.S. Feldman, Development Across the Life Span, 2006).

Now, we know better. That is, if we do try to understand them. However, it is still very much common that many people don't and don't even try to. It is sad to see children being treated in an offhand manner, sometimes bordering on disrespect, like kids are just pure nuisance or like some pet dog or something. They are treated without affection or compassion, or worst, like they don't have brains. It is to these people's loss because the Son of Man who walked in our world said this of children:

And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3, NIV)

This teaching of Jesus is so against our arrogant selves, who tends to think of ourselves better than anybody, much more that of little children. We think we know better and are better.

But when Jesus' disciples, who were striving among themselves to be the greatest, asked Him, they were stumped with His answer.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me. (Matthew 18:1-5)

Evidently, Jesus already had told his adult followers that to accept and welcome children in His name is His desire for them to do. But in the next chapter, an incident happened that upset Jesus that He had to apparently rebuke them in their face.

Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 19:13,14)

My, how bull-headed can we get? However, even unaware, we, mostly parents, can stop our children from coming to God and from taking part in His kingdom. How?

My children enjoy the Sabbath and being in church in fellowship with other believers and learning and knowing about God, really makes the day special for them. But there was a time when I was physically, but in a huge way, spiritually apathetic in making it to church, having no desire at all to face people, and most of all, God. I was in a huff over some issues. And instead of bringing them over to God, I wanted to sulk, blaming Him for it.

But as the Sabbath drew on, I saw Angelika mark the calendar everyday, telling me after she was done of how excited she was that Sabbath was coming and that she could not wait for it to come. I felt my heart squeezed. Then, as the days wore on, I asked myself who am I to stop them from going to God?

So that Sabbath, I put on my best clothes, as my children waited for me. They usually dress themselves up all by themselves, except for the baby, and to the church we went. Later on, God talked to me through His word and I was glad I came. It is not my place, whatever is my level of relationship with God, to interfere with His relationship with them. In fact, I have a responsibility to point them to Him.

Maybe you are indifferent with religion or any spiritual matter, or just plain uninterested, but being a human being includes having a spiritual life, as well. What do think will fill that part of your kid's life if it's empty now? Children will grow without a moral compass, or simply put, without knowing what's right or wrong, nothing to guide him in his life. Yes, he may grow successful in his field or career, but may have problems with integrity, honesty or maintaining relationships for he has never learned it early in life. In fact, the world teaches the opposite-- whatever feels good, do it-- doesn't matter if you step on other people or violate God's moral law.

So, unaware, we may be leading our children off on a path that is deleterious to them. This warning of Jesus may be for us who intentionally leaves empty the spiritual vacuum in our children, and which, may be filled up with who-knows-what.

"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)

He adds further...

"Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish." (Matthew 18:14)

Let us not treat our children with contempt by neglecting that space that God made for Him alone. As He has said, the kingdom of heaven is for them and for people like them.

As for us, we have plenty to learn from these little children. So, what is it like to be like them?


Here are some of their admirable traits:

  • Their brutal honesty. As a woman (and a mom), I can always depend on my children to tell me the truth whether I look good on something or I'm getting fat. Haha. They tell me as is.
  • Their simple, unaffected faith. Ah, this is what Jesus was talking about when He said we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven unless we become like children. Children's faith is not complicated with a lot of theories and philosophies, but no-fuss and a wholly devoted one.
  • Their carefree, positive attitude. Last sabbath, our pastor at our local church talked about the little boy who shared his lunch with Jesus and witnessed a miracle, which more than 5,000 people was fed (John 6). I was caught by what he said when he pointed out that there may be other people who brought their lunch, but instead of sharing they were stopped by the impossibility of sharing their little lunch with another and much more with so many hungry people around. The disciples alone were very worried. Who could ever imagine that the whole crowd would be fed? That's the difference between adults and children. We worry too much, but they move even with the little that they have. My children have solutions to dilemmas that may be too simplistic, but because they believe it's possible, then it becomes possible. Perhaps, even the boy didn't imagine feeding such a crowd, but initially just wanted to share it with Jesus, who unselfishly shared His time and affection with them. And we know the rest of the story. From the little boy's lunch of two fish and fives loaves of bread a big crowd ate and there were even leftovers. And this also teaches me that God moves the whole universe to aid us when we wholly commit to move, especially to bless others.
  • Their affectionate nature. Having four children, I never go in a day without hugs and kisses and i-love-you's. My children make sure of that. Children thrive on love and love to love and are not afraid to show it. The world would be a better place if we cultivate warmth and affection... and be brave to show it. No one would go around lonely and without love. God commands us to love each other, be kind and tenderhearted. I often go easy on one of my kids who commits an offense, because the others often plead with me not to be harsh and punitive. Children hate seeing someone suffer. But they brighten up and blossom in an environment of love, even if it's just a group hug.
  • Their humility. Should I say more? They take orders, they follow often without complaints and they obey.
Cultivating these traits is not easy when we have grown to a world that teaches us differently. Yet, look at Jesus as He sets a child in our midst and hear Him say, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3).

With heaven's help, we can do it.





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Thursday, May 5, 2016

Beyond the Storm: Peace


I am a mere mortal. I have a faulty understanding of how the Divine works. But it hasn't stopped me from trying.

Today is my mother's birthday if she were alive. My Ma--- loving, strong and tender. No one has seen her since that fateful night of November 8. She has disappeared in the storm together with my dear father. And, oh, how I've missed her.

There are times when I wonder what she would say to the things that are happening in my life-- celebratory or otherwise. She had been a bulwark in our home. She was courageous: taking on the journey God has set for her even if it meant giving up many of the things that could have been better in the world's eyes. She had always been excited for all of her children and it didn't matter for her whether we made it in the world because she knew each of us has a special path to take.

It has been hard accepting that she is gone. But God has not left me destitute.


The Sky and the Sea


The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork.
Day unto day utters speech, And night unto night reveals knowledge.
(Psalm 19:1,2)

A few days ago, my family went on a hunting/fishing trip and made camp for a couple of nights by the seashore. As we witness the sun rise and set at such a breathtaking fashion, we didn't want to go back home even if it meant a nice, warm bath and comfortable beds. The children and I combed every inch of the beach. By afternoon of the first day, the baby was taking her own looooooong walks and I had to use Herculean tactics and effort to get her back to our camp site. The only indication of tiredness she showed were pretty nasty snoring by the time we slept before midnight. The children didn't want the days and the nights to end and mealtimes were fast, unlike at home when they could drag on for hours.

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

The Beauty in Everyday

All in a mom's day.! Baby prettying up herself with a dress
and kid's toothpaste as 'face cream'
It's a dreary day today. Wet snow is falling and has blanketed the ground again. The sky is abundant with the fragrance of heavy clouds. Light comes early. We are moving from winter to spring. The time has been moved as the days are longer and the night shorter.

This is a day you want to stay home and stay under the duvet. And cuddle. Or read.

But I've got work to do. There's the baby to fed, the laundry to load, the dishes to wash, the meals to cook, the floor to vacuum as the wet snow turns the ground to mush and mud dried up is a daily visitor in the house.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Seize the Day!

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As I'm typing this off on my phone (and later on the computer), the sunlight is streaming through the windows. The sky... My! It's drawing pictures. Running horses there, a misty mountain here. Beautiful. It is much like the day I intentionally claimed and became one of my beautiful days--- vibrant, dreamy and raw.

Spring is coming. I can almost smell it. And it fills me with hope. And so much love.

It started off as just a day I claimed was for me. One that involves going far from all that distracts me from having a much-needed time with myself, like my highly affectionate kids and husband, and the technology I seem to struggle with finding balance. I have to simply be alone--- just me and my God. The objective was just to go out and see the world with eyes of hope. And love.

I have developed in-grown eyeballs. This is a common malady for many women. It is hard to see life and the beauty in it when one's sight are often directed inwards. It is a surefire way to be miserable. I need to see life.

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

3 Things I Love About Being a Woman

Ended up a wonderful day with this photo, then I got a flower. :)
March 8. It's a national holiday here in Russia, celebrating women and all that they stand for, of course, that includes their contributions and achievements, but mainly on just simply being who they are. I come from a place that has high regard for women, but having a day set aside just to honor and recognize them would have been really wonderful. Being in Russia, though, I am privileged to be included in the celebration. (My dear husband makes sure of it and tells me a few days before the date to claim it for myself. I'll show you what I did today on my next blog.)

Because of this Women's Day, I got spoiled with chocolates, flowers, cards and special presents from my family and friends. I even got a virtual greeting from Mr. Putin, passed on to me by a friend. (I feel like I should put a smiley here.)

Sunday, February 14, 2016

My Kind of Love Songs

Happy Valentine's Day!
It's Valentines. And it has been snowing all day outside. It's beautiful.

Inside, though, someone is working in the bathroom downstairs installing a new bath after the shower stall broke. The smell and noise is not relaxing, but thankfully, it's not intruding either. So while that is going on, I am chillin' around at home with a different kind of love song. I mean, love songs. Different in a sense that you usually don't get to hear them being played on the radio with the popular ones, y'know, the ones that kids ask premature questions about and has more sounds than real words. (Y'know, what I mean? :D)

I just realized that I'm a helpless romantic after all these years of being married and having all these angels climbing on me, and having family dates. Valentines day is not that important here in Russia, so my husband and I have gone without it for years already. Still, I am all for love. And everyday, I am being reminded how I am loved and how wonderful it is to love. It just makes my day.

Here's my playlist (in no particular order).

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Rest: Jesus' Secret to a Well-Balanced Life

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Most days I run around the house trying to get things done before going to work or before going to bed at midnight. These 'must do' tasks sometimes just bobs up in the surface like a hard to clean pan that I must scrub bright or a cleaning supervisor will suddenly appear over my shoulder and "Tsk tsk" me for a job not done well. I have gotten to the point where I am confused which things I really should do.

Then I got sick. And gone is the strength that powered me as I zoomed my way through the hours of the day (and night). I was left with mounds of dirty laundry and ironing that I did anyway even though I didn't want to, and meals to cook even when I didn't want to eat. All I wanted was to disappear between the blankets, soothe my pounding head with the calming sound of my throaty, labored breathing.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

"Let There Be Light!"

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Only when in darkness do we long and reach out for light. Like...


  • Those moments when I get the urge to write and I can't turn on the light because I was sure it'd wake my husband up. (That's why he has a no-lamp rule in the bedrooms.) So I just write in the darkness hoping that by the morrow I could read what I've written.
  • Brownout. It's the only time I would risk tripping and falling on my nose while searching for candles or for a flashlight. Before that, they don't matter.
  • Those teenage years when God's Word, the light unto my path, was shoved in the farthest corner of my life and I lived like a caveman. I was glad when I finally got to live in the light.
  • Those three long days after typhoon Haiyan. I was like in a tunnel, praying desperately to come to the light, yet so afraid I wasn't going to see the dawn of light. But it did come. God made sure of it even before the storm.

I Am Home

After five years of blogging, I'm going to say goodbye to this blog, The Road Home, that started me on a journey of fully discoverin...