I grew up in conflict. I mean, I fought with my sisters, I fought with my brother, I fought with my parents. It's something I am not proud of. When I became more mature, that matter became a reason of embarrassment for me. Maybe it is my loud mouth or my foul temper, but whatever it is, I so easily get myself into relationship troubles with people.
Most people have their difficult person. As for me, I am my own self's difficult person. I just embarrass myself in ways I cannot imagine. Now and again, I get into a conflict with someone that I don't even know what the reason is about. I just don't know how I get into these situations even how hard I think and analyze my relationships. Mostly, it is me getting entangled in the web of mine and the other person's emotions, which I simply don't know how to unravel.
I am raising three children, all gifts from God to me and my husband. I have never expected to be quite so 'blessed' and everyday I always thank God for them. Each of them are special and bring joy to our home in their own unique way.
It is my goal to raise successful adult Christians, and success for me means that they are loving, compassionate, gentle, persistent, temperate, joyful, peaceful, faithful, and good man and women. I understand that they are right now in the process of growing up, so I don't expect perfection from them. Not only that, they are their own person and may have different ways of 'being', contrary to the way I do of 'being' me but harmonious to the way they are, as God has made them. Nevertheless, what does a parent like me do? How am I to raise my children into good Christian adults?
Emotions are raging, threatening a volcanic outburst and an
avalanche of destruction! Rolling, boiling, fizzing, heading for a collision!
Stop. Wait. Maybe you can take a deep breath and think. Listen, maybe you are
jumping to conclusions? Perhaps you are wrong or have misinterpreted what is
happening and what you are hearing? But then you may also be right. Wait.
Listen. There must be a different way to react...
This is what is going on in my mind right now. I am a woman and I admit I have a wealth of emotions that I really do not need. At times I pray that the garbage collector comes and take away all these excesses. It gets me into trouble most times. I get to react too passionately. I am at times embarrassed by all the gamut of emotions that rage or flow inside of me, and sting or sooth my soul. It wears me down.
(This post is overdue for the love month of February, yet, it is timely EVERYDAY. So here goes...) Not so long ago, we would know in
concrete ways when a man is interested in a woman. Especially in a Philippine
setting--- where I come from--- both families would be involved even before the
courtship had began. If not, then at least the girl's parents and an elder,
brought along by the man, would know that the man wanted to court the girl by
asking permission from the girl's parents. Only when the girl's parents had
approved him to court the girl, would he be permitted to see her and
show his love through all kinds of courting practices like serenading, giving
flowers, visiting or inviting her out, and... always with a chaperone. (Uh, that seems so long, long ago now! :D)