Growing Kids' Character and Personality

My colorful flowers ⚘⚘⚘

"Mama, help! Bad boys are attacking us!"#3 barged into the house crying. My mama bear instinct went on full drive, but knowing Ella, she can cry over almost anything, even just a flying mosquito. Well, with all that unusually loud noises coming from the yard, I thought the kids had all the neighborhood children invited to come play with them. I tried to calm her down to get the details. But all I got was a lot of frantic, "Small boys are attacking us!" So I looked out of the window to see what all that fuss was about. What I saw was comical, well, for me.

Two small boys, about the ages of four or six, were trying to act tough, banging small shoulders on the locked gate. I turned to Ella and asked, "If they want to play with you, why don't you let them in?" It was better for me that other children come over to play with my kids than for my own to be away while I worry over whether they're behaving well or not.

"They don't want to play. They just want to fight," was the answer. The little, smart guys couldn't obviously get through the gate by their shoulders, so they went to get a carpenter's bench (from where? I had no idea), and tried to climb over the fence. Three of my kids are older than them but these little ones are so fast and ferocious that anyone would be afraid of them. We know their father, but the kids haven't met, so I know they're harmless to some extent.

As I was looking on trying to decide whether to intervene or not, I saw that my kids were behaving according to what I've known about their temperaments. Ella got on her bike to get away but ended up biking around in circles around the yard, while crying the whole time. She was shedding real, fat tears and looked so distraught. I looked for my oldest to see what he was doing. He was fooling around with the boys, making faces--- not taking them seriously at all--- even as they were climbing the fence. The second was reasoning out with the boys, using words as much as she could, but it didn't work as they seemed to be beyond reasoning. As for the youngest? She went to open the gate, went out and confronted the boys face to face. With both of her hands on her hips, she gave them some stern scolding. Woah! The boys didn't take it too well. That made me step out to intervene, afraid that things might escalate out of hand.

I called out, "What's going on here?" The boys eventually scurried away upon seeing me and left some worker's bench behind. Despite the tension, especially the one Ella was feeling, I was quite fascinated at how each of them reacted to the situation that was before them. Their reactions were right-on with their temperaments and their growing personality.

Temperament

Previously, I wrote about Kids, Temperament and Motivation, wherein I speculated on each of my children's temperaments. This time, I'm going to go further into children's growing character and personality, with some research on child development and the inspired writings of Ellen White to help me.

By the time my son was ten, I could already tell how my firstborn child responds or reacts to situations based on his temperament, something that is naturally his. The same as with the others. Even in utero and birth, my children had shown distinct temperamental traits that set them apart from each other. And as they grow, these inherited traits have grown more obvious.

Research on Child Development identified nine temperamental traits in infants, which are fairly stable and endures through adulthood. However, childrearing practices can modify temperament significantly. And it is well to remember that these characteristics are neither "bad" or "good, but instead depends on the world the children are in and the demands expected from them. For a brief info, I've listed them below.

*Nine Temperamental Traits1

-activity level (how active the child is generally)
-distractibility (degree of concentration and paying attention when the child is not particularly interested)
-intensity (how loud the child is)
-regularity (the predictability of biological functions like appetite and sleep)
-sensory threshold (how sensitive the child is to physical stimuli: touch, taste, smell, sound, light)
-approach/withdrawal (characteristic responses of a child to a new situation or to strangers)
-adaptability (how easily the child adapts to transitions and changes such as switching to a new activity)
-persistence (stubbornness, inability to give up)
-mood (tendency to react to the world primarily in a positive or negative way)

Knowing children's temperaments, makes it useful (if not easier) in parenting them in the best way that will ensure success in developing healthy personalities.

Personality

Personality is an interaction between temperament, environment and character. It is how children behave and how they are perceived by the people around them. In the long run, it determines how they will relate to other people and the world around them. Erik Erikson's eight phases on social development helps in understanding how personality develops. I've included a brief list below of the phases from Infancy up to School Age.

*Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development1

Infancy      Learning Basic Trust or Mistrust (Hope)
Toddlerhood   Learning Autonomy or Shame (Will)
Preschool    Learning Initiative or Guilt (Purpose)
School Age    Learning Industry or Inferiority (Competence)

Character

As for my children's character, I am simply glad they were not one of the boys who were "attacking", although I know they can get precocious at times. And if they are, it is my God-given duty as their mother to teach them what is right and wrong.

Looking into how children grows cognitively and develop moral reasoning, Jean Piaget, a Swiss psychologist, explored this area and found that children are more concerned about outcomes than intentions. Children also learn best by cooperative decision-making and problem-solving situations. Lawrence Kohlberg, an American psychologist, extended into adolescence and adulthood Jean Piaget's work. He believed that moral character develops slowly and evolves over time.

But what is right and wrong? God's Moral Law--- the Ten Commandments--- is explicit on this. Time and again, throughout history, it shows that idolatry leads to debauchery and immorality. When we don't acknowledge God and reject His commandments, we lose our sense of accountability to Him and towards each other.

Accordingly, as we get to know our Maker, moral character develops. By faith we work to develop our characters. But we need to consider that each of us are distinct from each other, with our own temperament and different experiences. We cannot assume to make others like ourselves. In a garden, there are different flowers, all varied in its own beauty. So it is in God's garden. Most especially, we should not expect a well-developed character in our children when we haven't taught them. If we have neglected to teach them, then we can not expect much from them.

What can parents do to aid their children in developing strong moral characters?

1. Decide to be the Parent.

Whether you planned to be a parent or not, when you decide to take responsibility of the child entrusted to you, determine to be the parent he/she needs. Nowadays, I've seen so many children who are taking their parents for a ride, and the parents thought it's okay. Sometimes, it goes so far that nobody can tell who the parent is. Maybe it's a backlash from the Freudian days that tells us that repressing a child's natural drives would lead to neuroses, that's why we allow our kids too much freedom. But no, for our children's sake, we need to guide and provide discipline to our children for them to develop a moral character.

As God has chosen Abraham to be the Father of Nations, so has He chosen us to be the parent for our children. It is our God-given duty to direct our children.

"For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just" (Genesis 18:19).

2. Start Early.

Pre-natal influences have a big role in developing temperament, character and personality. That is why, God was very clear in His command to Manoah and his wife in how to bring up their child, Samson, even before he was born.

The Scripture accounts: "Now there was a certain man from Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren and had no children. And the Angel of the Lord appeared to the woman and said to her, “Indeed now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and bear a son. Now therefore, please be careful not to drink wine or similar drink, and not to eat anything unclean." (Judges 13:2-4) And this was even before she conceived!

I can trace my children's temperamental traits with the habits I had while pregnant with them. Somehow, they acquired my attitude, behaviors and reactions to my experiences while still in utero. That's why I believe that "the basis of a right character in the future man is made firm by habits of strict temperance in the mother prior to the birth of her child.... (and) this lesson should not be regarded with indifference." (AH, 199.)

We should "teach (our) children from the cradle to practice self-denial and self-control. Teach them to enjoy the beauties of nature, and in useful employment to exercise all the powers of mind and body. Bring them up to have sound constitutions and good morals, to have sunny dispositions and sweet tempers. Teach them that to yield to temptation is weak and wicked; to resist is noble and manly. (CPTS, 127).

We need to promote the development of internal self-control through clear, consistent expectations and create opportunities to practice moral reasoning and actions from the time our children are young.

3. Determine to Provide High-quality Parenting

There is not much that we can do with the genes we pass on to our children, but we have the responsibility and the God-given power to provide the right environment and experiences so our children will have strong moral characters.

Children learn best when parents are warm and caring. When we understand our children's natural reaction to certain situations, we can prepare them to overcome or avoid problems and adapt our parenting to their particular temperaments to best provide guidance and ensure success in their development.

As parents, we provide our children the tools for life by what we teach and most importantly, by being role models of moral behavior. Ellen White, in her book Ministry of Healing, wrote about the far-reaching influence of a parent. "What the parents are, that to a great extent the children will be. The physical conditions of the parents, their dispositions and appetites, their mental and moral tendencies, are to a greater or less degree reproduced in their children" (371).

4. Provide an Environment that Promotes Character-building

Kindness begins at home, so does honesty, generosity, gentle manners, cheerfulness, usefulness and loving acts. If it doesn't, where can our children start to develop a character that will bless others and would fit them for heaven?

"God designs that the families of earth shall be a symbol of the family in heaven. Christian homes, established and conducted in accordance with God’s plan, are among His most effective agencies for the formation of Christian character..." (TC 6, 430). Having an atmosphere that promotes moral growth is a must.

The choice of a home matters, though. An African proverb says, "It takes a whole village to raise a child" and so, it is true. The character of a child says a lot of not only his/her parents' parenting practices, but also about where he/she has been brought up.

Let's not forget Lot's daughters. They have one righteous father. But after being taken out safe from Sodom and Gomorrah's destruction, they committed incest out of fear that their lineage will end. (Read Genesis 19.)  The Bible is not a wishy-washy book and it records even humanity's sins for future generations to avoid. And parenting is not a wishy-washy job. We should know where we stand and act on it that our children will know and decide where to stand. We are to learn from Lot and his daughters,

"The sinful conduct of (Lot's) daughters was the result of the evil associations of that vile place. Its moral corruption had become so interwoven with their character that they could not distinguish between good and evil." (PP, 168).

Parents, our parenting practices goes a long way, so does the environment we provide for our children. We are advised to "go where, apart from the distractions and dissipations of city life, you can give your children your companionship, where you can teach them to learn of God through His works and train them for lives of integrity and usefulness." (MH, 367)

Allow other people to teach and train your children, too. Because, yes, it takes a whole village... If I have caught up with those two youngsters, I would have taken the opportunity to teach them. In a loving way, I pray. And when my kids act badly, I hope that the adults around them won't let it pass by, but would take the time to gently discipline them. I find that my children sometimes listen more to other authority figures than they do to me, like their Sabbath School teacher or our church pastor. And I encourage them to do so.

5. Point them to the Divine Pattern

While being their mother, I don't want my children to be like me. (It would be a nightmare!) We have to encourage our children not to be anyone's shadow. They should be their own person.

And I may be my children's first teacher, one who will play a continuing role in their lives, but I know for a fact that I can not give them a well-developed character--- one that is simulated after the Savior, a character fitted for heaven. But I can point them to Him, the only one who is Righteous. Oh, how thrilling it would be to be like Him!

"When we submit ourselves to Christ, the heart is united with His heart, the will is merged in His will, the mind becomes one with His mind, the thoughts are brought into captivity to Him; we live His life. This is what it means to be clothed with the garment of His righteousness. Then as the Lord looks upon us He sees, not the fig-leaf garment, not the nakedness and deformity of sin, but His own robe of righteousness, which is perfect obedience to the law of Jehovah." (COL, 312).

The work of developing our character is a work of a lifetime and which is not humanly possible when done by ourselves alone. By faith, out of love for our Savior, we submit to Him and He moves our being.

For me, while temperament is wholly my child's, but which can be guided as he grows up; character is God's, imputed by faith. And these two, together with the third component, environment, makes up a person's personality. But while personality is what we need to get by in this world, a character of faith and integrity is what our Father in Heaven is after.

And so, I watch and pray. I observe my kids, and pray for wisdom to guide them and for Him to give them His character.

May He find us faithful with what He has entrusted us. And may He find them true to His promises and purpose for them.

----------------

Resources:

1Feldman, R.S., Development Across the Life Span, 4th Ed, Pearson
2COL, http://www.whiteestate.org/books/col/col.asp
3MH, http://www.whiteestate.org/books/mh/mh.asp
4http://centrowhite.org.br/files/ebooks/egw-english/books/The%20Adventist%20Home.pdf






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A Mother's Profound Joy

A MOTHER'S PROFOUND JOY

A mother's profound joy
comes in tiny bundles
concealed in the smell of your hair,
the wonder in your eyes, your laughter---
so rich, so right.

When you eat what she cooks
she feels immense pleasure
in heaping unending servings of stew,
spaghetti, memories, lessons and love
you can always keep.

You have no idea
how she stares unblinking
as you lie in repose making snores--
never mind that she's tired of cleaning
after your own shadow.

A lisped prayer is to her ear
as a President's speech
filled with hope for the future-- no fear;
a nursery rhyme you sing in play is as
Pavarotti's poignant aria.

Stories of you go on and on...
and on with no end,
told without beginning to anyone, who
cares (and dares) to listen, and a photo
becomes two million

On Facebook, Instagram
and on her beloved iPhone.
Seeing you with good books and friends,
however, fills her with gladness: you
won't be bored ever.

Even without recognition,
she glows with your B,
she's seen your struggles and efforts,
saw your grit, then your kindness
despite all tough.

A mother's profound joy
is in living grateful
confident in the Ultimate Parent's love--
your heart in His and your hand in hers.
That joy is you.

Copyright © 2017 zernahfaith



* Lately I have been very distracted. Blame it on the words that just seem to float out of nowhere and bother me until it gets down on paper. (I've developed a tic on one eye because of it. Like this 😉 ) So here it is in blog form. The other poems will follow right after I'm done with preparing dinner here. 

The words came as I tried to force myself to nap--- even for just 15 minutes, please--- lying beside my sleeping pre-schooler. As usual, the nap didn't  happen, the poem did, fueled at the joy, every mother knows, when one is holding her child (and smelling her/his head). Once again, I'm thankful to God for gifts and the joy of pursuing them.

Have a wonderful day!




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How to Keep Fit--- the Easy Way

Out for a walk...

I just came back from an hour of walk with my pre-schooler--- she on her trike and me on foot, sweating under a sweater and a leather jacket. The day is gray with tiny drizzles of rain. (Or mist? I'm not so sure.) So I thought a leather jacket will be warm enough, but it got too warm as I walked.

Walking is one of my easy (and enjoyable) way to keep fit, which I do twice in a week. I do other things, which I'm going to share with you in a moment. But why keep fit?

When I was younger, I kept fit to stay in shape, but I have more reasons than that now that I'm older. There are the body pains that usually go away after a few minutes of stretching and a cloudy mind that gets its dusting with every move and stride I make.

Keeping fit is essential to our bodies especially to those who are not getting any younger any more. And we don't get it by simply reading about some people who look fit and young because of their strict exercise regimen. But for many of us, it is a struggle to just simply get up and get moving, much more to do it daily.

I understand this struggle. With four kids to care and look after, a household to keep, work and interests and dreams to reach, I sometimes neglect this much-needed routine just to  have time for other things. Which I'm guilty to say I am more enthusiastic about. But having a fit body and a sound mind is important in every aspect of life as a parent, as a spouse, and in our relationship with God.

Listing down things I do, keeps them in mind more readily. Here's what I do in a week to keep fit.


1. Do the walk.

The ideal way for me to get the most out of a walk is going by myself. However, it always doesn't happen that way. So, I walk with kids. Sometimes, a kid or two. I invite the Honey to walk with me. And I do a prayer-walk around my neighborhood area or somewhere different from my usual beaten path.

I love to walk where I haven't walked before. That's why my husband is often astonished to learn that I have been in some places in our city where he hasn't brought me before. As I've mentioned, I go walking at least twice a week.

2. Dance to the Music!

On other days that I cannot go walking, I dance for 30 minutes to Zumba videos at least three times a week. The following videos in Youtube is enough to pump up some energy for me for the day, as well as, get my rusty joints stretched before I have my breakfast. Try this 15-minute Zumba video,  4-minute body toning video and a stretching video. I love that the first video is in French, and so easy and fun!

I also get my kids moving, especially when they are caught indoors because of nasty weather, by getting them do some kids zumba. And to get them enthusiastic, I move along with them to music such as "Gummy Bear" or "Hickory-Dickory-Dock", which my little pre-schooler loves. (She's a great dancer!)

3. Get soil-dirty hands.

Digging in the garden for even just thirty minutes burns 200 to 400 calories! And that includes pulling weeds and planting.  Planting vegetables have an added bonus of putting food on the table--- the healthy ones.

I have to pull weeds or our yard will resemble a beautiful Russian forest, complete with a big, brown bear. I try to get the kids in on the activity but the most they can give is five minutes, except for an empathetic Angelika, who cannot bear the thought of her mom with so much to do and no one to help her. Anyhow, working in the yard is a good bonding moment and families should do it often, working together.

4. Playtime! 

I'm not talking about video or computer games. Playtime should be with traditional games or sports. Perhaps we, adults, should be reminded how to have fun again with something as simple as playing tag or playing with a ball. There's nothing more rewarding than playing with the kids and nothing more fun while burning calories.

When I'm out of ideas, I just race the kids to the next lamp post or play a simple game of football or basketball using unlikely objects as a goal or a basket. As they are growing older, I introduce little-by-little traditional Filipino games--- the ones I played when I was a snooty-nosed urchin. There is "Seven-seven-up", "Patintero", "Luksong tinik", "Tumba Lata", "Piko". Aside from "Seven-seven-up" which we have mastered by far, we are still in the process of getting them down pat.

During winter, I roll around in the snow with them or have a snowball fight. Accordingly, minding kids and playing with them burns 300 to 600 calories.

5. Have fun with house chores. 

Ah, chores. Who likes them? Not me. But I've adopted the kids' attitude of fun, so I can get them done. And scrubbing or even just vacuuming has made me sweat so I guess I'm doing some sort of workout even if just a little bit. Even a moderate housecleaning gets a hundred to two hundred calories. In wintertime, shoveling some snow always guarantees a good workout even for just twenty minutes. In fact, ten minutes of shoveling snow will get you so warmed up you won't want to go back to the drab and boring indoors.

Not only are these activities good for keeping you fit without much thought... and maybe, effort, but they are also therapeutic. Walking always gets me back into a happy, calm mood. Dancing makes me laugh and do silly things without getting embarrassed. Digging in the dirt makes me feel human, knowing that I come from the ground. Playing keeps that youthful spirit in me. And doing chores? It keeps the house clean and having a clean house is bliss!

Whatever we do, let's do it as unto the Lord (Colossians 3:23) For if we do, we will benefit greatly out of it. God's blessings are poured to those who willingly obey Him and it is His desire that we will be fit and in good health. Finally...

"Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things 

and be in health, just as your soul prospers." 

(3 John 2)

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Russian meadows. Wide, open spaces to fly, to roam...

Raining again! Not much, but consistent. The whole day had been misty, though surprisingly, not dreary. There's something refreshing about rain after a couple of days of pure sunshine and clear, cloudless skies. In fact, it's balmy and soothing. It calms my spirit, inviting me to sit down from all the constant activity and whirling. I feel so relaxed, but not sleepy. Just that--- happy-calm.

Two days ago on June 12th, this is what I wrote...

The skies have cleared up! It is all clean and blue with no cloud in sight. Bright and warm and summery. I can see beach in my mind, complete with a beach umbrella as I stay in one place helping the kids take off one set of clothes into another, and wet clothes into dry ones, and then, again... and again. I can see melting ice cream in kids' hands... and smell salty air and the feel of grainy sand under my bottom. I can hear the kids' shrieks as the waves take up on their challenge to get them wet. This makes me smile.

This is such good news after a wearisome series of rain, when we had to stay home and huddle against the harsh and unrelenting wind.

So right away, we made the most of the day by going out and celebrate with the people of Russia for Russia Day. There was a military band performing, which we missed. But we had fun with what they left behind--- military stuff. We also looked at antique cars--- so stylish that I wish I know how to drive. In another part of the city, there were fire trucks and other utility trucks lined up for people to enjoy and kids to clamber around. I felt the pride and joy of the Russian people--- the freedom that I know was not given to them for free but were protected by the very lives of their forefathers, and the efforts that the people of this age are doing to make everyone's lives better.

And as I look on and celebrate, down in my heart I celebrate as a Filipino, as my country, despite of evil men who are trying to destroy it, see another day to celebrate Philippine Independence Day with freedom, and pride at the courage given and displayed through the lives of men and women who love the country--- then and now. There is nothing more I wish for my beloved Philippines but true independence and freedom to live their God-given lives. 

In fact, this is what I wish for everyone living in this planet Earth.

But as most of us know, freedom comes with a price and a responsibility. And there is nothing truer to this than when Jesus gave up His life to set us free from a life of sin and eventual death. He paid the price for our freedom. And for this, we have a responsibility to stay free. And He alone can do this for us when we give our lives back to Him. "Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed." (John 8:36).

It was for freedom that Christ set us free; 

therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.

(Galatians 5:1)

* * * * *

Let me type again normally... I have left off on my last blogpost on the subject of parents losing their cool during moments of conflict and have even thought up some measures against totally blowing off. 

But what if we've blown it? Is there anything we can do? Because I sometimes do, try as I might, like the last scene with my daughter, Angelika. 

In moments like these, a mother can...

1. Forgive. Extend grace to the kids and to yourself. Oftentimes, it's harder for me to forgive myself. That's why a mother should stop beating herself up (mentally) and instead pray to redeem the lost moment. Repent. There's no forgiveness when there's no repentance. Then move on to asking God to help you on how to redeem the moment. In Scripture, all correction is redemptive by design--- whether to correct the child or the parent. Nothing is lost on God.

2. Say "Sorry" (and mean it!). Growing up, I've never heard my father apologize to us, his children. And I understand. Because in my parents' time, apologizing was thought up as a way of buckling down under your children and was seen as a quick way to lose their respect. However, being honest to our children shows them that we, parents, are humans and are flawed. Just like them, we make mistakes. In apologizing, we model how we, as humans, may fall several times, but by God's grace can rise up again.

So say it. Ask your kids for forgiveness. Take responsibility for your behavior, that they may also learn to take responsibility with theirs.

3. Tell and Show them you love them. After a tough moment of conflict, a child is emotionally beaten up and scarred. Start the healing right away with words that will remind your child of your love--- unconditionally. This will affirm her worth, because for a child, what matters most is what you think of her. Show affection. Hug. Physical touch zaps our brain into a loving mood, which is necessary after moments of anger.

4. Pray together.  Even when I'm still blowing steam and I can't seem to stop, even as the Holy Spirit is prompting me to, I usually would gather my child or kids together in a hug to pray my emotions out with me. They, in turn, would pray and see God's redeeming way.

In her book Child Guidance, Ellen White talked about the importance of prayer in a moment of crisis, "Reveal the love you have for your erring one. As you bow before God with your child, you will present before the sympathizing Redeemer His own words, “Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of God.” (Mark 10:14). That prayer will bring angels to your side. Your child will not forget these experiences, and the blessing of God will rest upon such instruction, leading him to Christ. When children realize that their parents are trying to help them, they will bend their energies in the right direction" (CG, 253).

* * * * *

We are free. We are redeemed. There is no better way to be than to live this powerful truth as God's children and as parents to His little ones.

Alas! We live in an imperfect and sinful body. However, God has provided a way out through His Son. Let's take hold of His hand to give us strength over our weak selves and give us patience. Those who depend on Him  will "go from strength to strength" (Psalm 84:7).  

"Let (all) be taught that every mistake, every fault, every difficulty, conquered, becomes a steppingstone to better and higher things. It is through such experiences that all who have ever made life worth the living have achieved success" (E. White, Education, 295, 296).

And yes, only through Him. It won't be long when we get to sing "Worthy is the Lamb!", to the One who conquers for us.

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Ways (for a Mother) to Keep Calm

Status: In a Relationship

Makeover

Ways (for a Mother) to Keep Calm

Rain is dripping outside when all I really want to do is go out for a walk and breath in some fresh air. Having been inside all day, I feel caged with my mind busy with a million things and with no direction. And when I am in such a sorry state, it shows in how I treat my children.

I yell at them. If not, I can go on and on with, "See, what you did?" I get sarcastic with them. I disrespect, forgetting that they, too, have feelings.

Afterwards, I feel bad and guilty. I punish myself by telling myself how horrible a mother I am. And when I don't feel good, all those bad emotions spill out to my children, even with my best intentions. It's a vicious cycle.

Angelika came home today determined to tell me the truth about losing the R50-bill I gave her for bus fare in coming home from school. Instead, she walked home. She wanted to be honest with me and prayed hard that I won't be angry with her. Of course, I've also resolved to stay calm when my children endeavor to tell me the truth. But as I spoke to her about what happened, I felt that angry bile rising and my voice rising with it. Angelika stood with head bowed. With much control, which I didn't feel at that moment, I stopped my tirade and told her to excuse herself as a student was coming soon for a private class with me. She went to her room.

While I got busy, I couldn't stop reprimanding myself at what I did. Leaving everything, I purposefully went to the girls' room but found the door close. Angelika locks herself in whenever she's upset with anyone, and this time she was upset with me. It wasn't locked when I turned the doorknob and I found her sitting on the spare bed hugging her legs, but she moved out of that position right away. I know I've botched it. So I just looked her in the eyes and said, "I love you." There were questions in her eyes but she remained speechless. "I love you," I said again, then softly closed the door. Later, I felt like I should have hugged her or shown more affection.

After my class and my student was gone, she came down from her room and told me, "Mom, you said 'I love you' when you came to my room." I nodded. Then she added, "I love you more."

From this incident, I've learned that even as we blow off ourselves before our kids, it's not the end yet. We can redeem what we've lost. But before totally making an embarrassment of ourselves, we can take measures. Here are some ways...

Keep Calm

1. Breath. Often when I do my breathing, I say a prayer. I find it easier to keep perspective on what is going on when I do. While others count numbers, I count on God's promises. He said,

The Lord gives strength to his people. 

The Lord blesses his people with peace.

(Psalm 29:11)

Another way to use breathing to calm down, which I've learned from one of my classes while working for my MA Counseling, is to visualize breathing in goodness and exhaling the toxic emotions out, example: anger, worry, etc. Feel the muscles in your body, the nerves, the organs inside, the tiny parts like the toes, fingers and eyes, etc, and bid them calm down and relax.

2. Go out. Just like kids need the time and space outside without walls, parents need that same space and time. A change of environment and fresh air can do wonders to a mind and body going numb with so much emotions and activity going on.

3. Have a time-out. I don't see time-out as a way to discipline but to teach children life skills, most importantly, in managing emotions. A mother taking a time-out when emotions are escalating is not only stopping herself from blasting off into the hell-world of uncontrollable anger, but also modeling to her children on what to do when they are caught in the same situation with peers, family and other people.

As long as it is safe to do so, retreat to a safer place alone. Whatever you do, whether to listen to music or take a walk or lie down on the floor alone while staring at the ceiling or read the Bible and talk to God, give yourself permission to break away from the chaos within and without. Or simply take the time-out just to escape for a few minutes from the daily grind of kids, chores and other tasks that you've set out to do. Put it on your list of things-to-do if possible. 

4. Feed yourself well. Often, mothers are so busy loading laundry, washing dishes, responding to the kids' calls that they forget that they haven't even had breakfast and it's already a few minutes before lunch time. This is so true for me. Sometimes I forget I need to drink water even as I go around giving cups with water to my kids to drink. No wonder that a mother's fuse can grow so short.

5. Don't rob yourself of sleep. I am very guilty of this even as I'm typing. I have always seen the time when my kids are sleeping as time for me to do many chores and writing tasks that I couldn't do when the kids are awake, but I've realized how in the process I am sabotaging my own plan. So for now, this blogpost will have to wait to be finished in another time while I sleep.

Tomorrow I'll write about redeeming what we lost after we've lost our cool. Stay with me. At the mean time...

I can lie down and sleep soundly because you, Lord, will keep me safe.

(Psalm 4:8)

Good night! 

Kids, Temperament, Motivation and The Pattern

Misha is all for fun.

Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right.

Proverbs 20:11

A few days ago, I could almost smell summer in the air: bright sunshine, sweat, bicycle oil. Then two nights ago a snowstorm came bringing with it loads and loads of snow... and beautiful snowflakes spiraling in the air in the morning. And no electricity.

As school was cancelled, I was left with four kids without the help of modern devices. What to do?
I watched.

I watched the snowflakes. Beautiful, intricate in all it's design, then read about it. Fascinating.

I watched the kids in each of their own beautiful personalities trying to combat boredom in their own special way (as God has made them). Then blog about it. Extremely fascinating.

I looked like I was reading, but with all the activity going on, how can one even concentrate? This momma is on to another study, one that has begun since I had child #1. My lab goes like this...

7 Tips for a Joy-filled Parenting

"Good morning, Mom!"

Startled, I woke up from a deep sleep. I groaned. I still wanted to sleep, so I ignored the cheery voice, which was too cheery for a Saturday morning. Why can't I get an extra hour of sleep today like everyone does before my day starts and ends again at 12:00 midnight?

The childish voice came again, "Good morning, Mom! Wake up!" So I replied, "Mama is still sleepy. Please lie down again," trying to sound as sleepy as I could.

"Mama, wake up," the 'little dawn' shines, more insistently this time. So I rolled out of bed, head pounding and scooped my little toddler out of her crib (still didn't get to moving her to a toddler bed, no budget yet) and towards her potty. She held her arms wide open, ready to hug me tight, with a huge, bright smile on her face. I couldn't help but smile back and whisper, "Good morning, Roxy," as her little arms embraced the whole of my heart.

My day has officially began.

I'm Coming Home!: Helping a Child with Trauma

A storm is brewing in the horizon as I'm writing this. And my husband is looking for the cat before it gets caught in it. The sky is in different shades of iron, from silvery gray to almost black. It is awesome to watch it. Through the windows from the safety of the house.

We were outside a few hours ago, as the kids and I often are one or two times in a day, to simply play and breath in fresh air. But the wind was blowing so vigorously, even throwing sand into our faces, that it got me thinking that if we were in the Philippines, we would've been in a dangerous situation just being outside. All kinds of stuff would have been flying around already. It brought to mind "the storm that changed my life".

Well, it was not only me who remembered that. Because as I was waking up my biggest girl, who was enjoying the last remaining days of her vacation sleeping in before she starts school again in a couple of days, responded to my cheery "Good morning!" as I drew the curtains, "The weather is scary!" And what can I say to that? To someone whose recurring nightmares, especially when awake, consists of whipping winds, floods, and being alone?

Life Lessons to Learn from Young Children

Hello dears! 

The following is a guest post from Helen Huynh. We are blessed to have her writing for us today. Enjoy! (Find out more about her at http://homemadejoys.com/)



There were numerous times when I would stop what I do and just watch my children play. A smile would form in my face as I whisper a 'thank you' to the Maker who entrusted them to me because everyday I marvel at the blessings my young ones bring into our home. How silly of me to think I am here to teach them lessons and show them how to live life just because I am MOM. I realize that I learn from my little ones just as much as they learn from me. Each day I spend with them, I see some of life’s most valuable lessons.

How children become so adorable and so full of life, I have no idea. All I know is they give life more meaning. Even before they could speak, they teach. How? By the way they live. Here are my favorite life lessons that all of us could learn from young children:

Stay Alive

It's half past seven in the evening and the kids and I are still outside enjoying the last rays of the sun. Well, it doesn't look like it is going away any minute. Summer.

Much as I have come to adore winter with its snowy wonder, I can't help but have a tryst with summer. On the first hand, summer has been my first love.

With summer's crystalline days, trees are so green that envy must be jealous. I tend to look up more. The skies are their best of blue, even birds just have to stage their pirouettes with it as the backdrop. As I'm writing, a lone bird is showing off by sailing, cutting through the winds with his wings with the precision of a machine. But it is not a machine, for it is way too fluid. Weightless, it dips and soars.

God Rules! (Happy birthday, Raindrops!)

And so it is that as the rain drops outside, I blog again after the longest time of not doing so. And it is because it is my little Ella's sixth birthday. She's not so little any more, yet still the sweet little one I love. But much sweeter and lovelier. So in connection to a writing project for my kids, here's one for her.

Happy birthday my little raindrops (or is it starlight?)

Whatever you want me to call you, you can always call me Mom.

I love the sound of rain on the roof, on my umbrella--- just as I love the tinkle of your laughter. Your eyes light up, your smile all turned up heralding mirth, showcasing your merry heart.

I love the smell of rain as it waters the earth and how it leaves everything crisp and clear. So are you, my dear, the moment you enter a room, your presence is so refreshing. Must be the innocence or that impish glint that is so endearing.

Rain falls softly, but it can be tough, too. And you have that soft heart that easily melts, but, my,! I do know you can be tough too! Don't I get a calloused forehead for the numerous times we butt heads? All the same, never forget I will always love you. Yes, you.

Rain is fun. It makes me dance around in circles and after, to jump like crazy in puddles. It invites me to sing so loud knowing that no one can hear me. Ah, you are more than rain. Twirling around with you has become my new hobby. So is singing in unmeasured beats, unwritten notes and just-thought-up lyrics. The only rule is to croon.

Rain fashion is cool. I love how it's roomy with groovy colors and sturdy, too. And you, rock it... even on a sunny day because you just want to wear galoshes. Isn't that cool?

I love thinking when it's raining. It's also the best time to read. Lately, we are finding ways to do that. I hope to spend more time together with you.

The day you came into my life wasn't raining, but, oh, how God had poured out His spirit on a woman with crumpled dreams before her and replaced them with His own perfect plans. That day, I knew I would never be alone no matter what or wherever I may be. I knew then that God rules--- and He rules with wisdom and grace. And you, dear, was there to show me how foolish man's schemes are.

Just as the coming of rain is a turning point to earth, so are you in mine. I love you and I will always cherish the gift that you are. You are God's and He loves you so much. I hope to show this to you everyday for as long as I live.

Rain falling. Tears (happily) streaming. Getting corny...

The End. 

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Like Little Children

The church's backyard was turned into a small playground for three days, with excited shrieks and squeals of happy children. We just concluded a few days of Summer Bible School and every time it was time to load up the church van for the ride home, there were many reluctant feet who still wanted to jump, run and skip. I could understand. Not only did they make new friends, studied the Bible, do interesting crafts and play, but they also had fun while getting to know their Creator and His purpose for them.

Children's Day was almost a month ago. Precisely, thirty days from today, which makes it June 1st. This tells me that this piece has been in writing for that long time. Somehow, with the children being on vacation, I couldn't sit down long enough to muster some thoughts and put them down in writing. Instead, I have been busy doing a tour of the playgrounds with them, snatching their bikes from them and riding off, patching knee scrapes, and doing rounds of changing and washing of their dirty clothes.

When I was in Korea, Children's Day was on May 5th. It consisted of a lot of happy, excited children and some over-zealous parents and some who are mildly so, buying presents, the latter group only doing for the reason that they don't want their children to feel left out. Aside from that, some special activity should be in the offing--- a trip to Everland (an amusement park) or some water park. My husband and I saw ourselves as excited as the children (and broke, too) every time that day came around.

But Children's Day in Russia is quieter. Or maybe, it's just me, the foreigner. Well, I can understand the difference from both countries. It hasn't been long when people have started to see children as blessing and not as burden in this vast land. After communism fell, life was very hard. And the more children, the harder it must have been. I am a spectacle with my brood--- all four of them--- especially to old people, every time I go out.  It's almost like I committed some sin by having that many children. (Maybe my offense is flaunting. I like to show my children off. 😊) But I have since met young couples who want to have many children or who love children and want to raise them.

Children are a blessing. I have found this out long before I had my own. I worked as a missionary in Korea, and spent most of my active hours with them. At one time, I even decided (before I met my loving husband)I not to get married, but adopt a few and raise them up myself.

Well, I have long realized that children are excellent teachers. They taught me how to enjoy each moment. They made me derive so much pleasure and fun from the simplest and littlest of things. They made me laugh, get on my silly side, dream wild and free, work hard, get curious and ask questions and, well, have a life--- one that's good and rich. I'll always be grateful to God for them, whether they are mine or not.

Some time ago, people have no idea who children are. Well, we can't blame them because even with all the research and information that we have now, some people still have this archaic idea of children. They were treated like mini-adults. They work, they do almost all that adults do. Here's a fact.

"Until the 17th century in Europe, there was no concept of "childhood". Instead, children were simply thought of as miniature adults. They were assumed to be subject to the same needs and desires as adults, to have the same vices and  virtues as adults, and to warrant no more privileges than adults. They were dressed the same as adults, and their work hours were the same as adults. Children also received the same punishments for misdeeds. If they stole, they were hanged; if they did well, they could achieve prosperity, at least so far as their station in life or social class would allow. "
(Aries, 1962; Acocella, 2003; Hutton, 2004 as cited by R.S. Feldman, Development Across the Life Span, 2006).

Now, we know better. That is, if we do try to understand them. However, it is still very much common that many people don't and don't even try to. It is sad to see children being treated in an offhand manner, sometimes bordering on disrespect, like kids are just pure nuisance or like some pet dog or something. They are treated without affection or compassion, or worst, like they don't have brains. It is to these people's loss because the Son of Man who walked in our world said this of children:

And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3, NIV)

This teaching of Jesus is so against our arrogant selves, who tends to think of ourselves better than anybody, much more that of little children. We think we know better and are better.

But when Jesus' disciples, who were striving among themselves to be the greatest, asked Him, they were stumped with His answer.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me. (Matthew 18:1-5)

Evidently, Jesus already had told his adult followers that to accept and welcome children in His name is His desire for them to do. But in the next chapter, an incident happened that upset Jesus that He had to apparently rebuke them in their face.

Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 19:13,14)

My, how bull-headed can we get? However, even unaware, we, mostly parents, can stop our children from coming to God and from taking part in His kingdom. How?

My children enjoy the Sabbath and being in church in fellowship with other believers and learning and knowing about God, really makes the day special for them. But there was a time when I was physically, but in a huge way, spiritually apathetic in making it to church, having no desire at all to face people, and most of all, God. I was in a huff over some issues. And instead of bringing them over to God, I wanted to sulk, blaming Him for it.

But as the Sabbath drew on, I saw Angelika mark the calendar everyday, telling me after she was done of how excited she was that Sabbath was coming and that she could not wait for it to come. I felt my heart squeezed. Then, as the days wore on, I asked myself who am I to stop them from going to God?

So that Sabbath, I put on my best clothes, as my children waited for me. They usually dress themselves up all by themselves, except for the baby, and to the church we went. Later on, God talked to me through His word and I was glad I came. It is not my place, whatever is my level of relationship with God, to interfere with His relationship with them. In fact, I have a responsibility to point them to Him.

Maybe you are indifferent with religion or any spiritual matter, or just plain uninterested, but being a human being includes having a spiritual life, as well. What do think will fill that part of your kid's life if it's empty now? Children will grow without a moral compass, or simply put, without knowing what's right or wrong, nothing to guide him in his life. Yes, he may grow successful in his field or career, but may have problems with integrity, honesty or maintaining relationships for he has never learned it early in life. In fact, the world teaches the opposite-- whatever feels good, do it-- doesn't matter if you step on other people or violate God's moral law.

So, unaware, we may be leading our children off on a path that is deleterious to them. This warning of Jesus may be for us who intentionally leaves empty the spiritual vacuum in our children, and which, may be filled up with who-knows-what.

"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:6)

He adds further...

"Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish." (Matthew 18:14)

Let us not treat our children with contempt by neglecting that space that God made for Him alone. As He has said, the kingdom of heaven is for them and for people like them.

As for us, we have plenty to learn from these little children. So, what is it like to be like them?


Here are some of their admirable traits:

• Their brutal honesty. As a woman (and a mom), I can always depend on my children to tell me the truth whether I look good on something or I'm getting fat. Haha. They tell me as is.

• Their simple, unaffected faith. Ah, this is what Jesus was talking about when He said we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven unless we become like children. Children's faith is not complicated with a lot of theories and philosophies, but no-fuss and a wholly devoted one.

• Their carefree, positive attitude. Last sabbath, our pastor at our local church talked about the little boy who shared his lunch with Jesus and witnessed a miracle, which more than 5,000 people was fed (John 6). I was caught by what he said when he pointed out that there may be other people who brought their lunch, but instead of sharing they were stopped by the impossibility of sharing their little lunch with another and much more with so many hungry people around. The disciples alone were very worried. Who could ever imagine that the whole crowd would be fed? That's the difference between adults and children. We worry too much, but they move even with the little that they have. My children have solutions to dilemmas that may be too simplistic, but because they believe it's possible, then it becomes possible. Perhaps, even the boy didn't imagine feeding such a crowd, but initially just wanted to share it with Jesus, who unselfishly shared His time and affection with them. And we know the rest of the story. From the little boy's lunch of two fish and fives loaves of bread a big crowd ate and there were even leftovers. And this also teaches me that God moves the whole universe to aid us when we wholly commit to move, especially to bless others.

• Their affectionate nature. Having four children, I never go in a day without hugs and kisses and i-love-you's. My children make sure of that. Children thrive on love and love to love and are not afraid to show it. The world would be a better place if we cultivate warmth and affection... and be brave to show it. No one would go around lonely and without love. God commands us to love each other, be kind and tenderhearted. I often go easy on one of my kids who commits an offense, because the others often plead with me not to be harsh and punitive. Children hate seeing someone suffer. But they brighten up and blossom in an environment of love, even if it's just a group hug.

• Their humility. Should I say more? They take orders, they follow often without complaints and they obey.

Cultivating these traits is not easy when we have grown to a world that teaches us differently. Yet, look at Jesus as He sets a child in our midst and hear Him say, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3).

With heaven's help, we can do it.





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God's Impeccable Timing (Happy Birthday, Snowflake!)

My baby is two! This year, I have a goal to write to all my children, with the first written to Angelika three years ago. Yeah, the simplest writing project I could think up. So this blog post is for Roxana, born June 10.

I call her my Snowflake, as she came during a wintry-like season in my journey on this road home. Besides that, she is also very pure in her expressions and reactions and is a real delight to be with. I am more than blessed to be her mother.

Happy Birthday, Snowflake!

10 Things I Love About Being a Mom

My precious-es!

I am a mother of four and it can get overwhelming at times. From the moment I wake up to the time I can finally rest I am constantly barraged by small bodies with cute voices, their questions and curiosities and the never-ending tasks that go along with raising them. But as we all know, children come with, not only a huge responsibility, but also with loads and loads of joy. Life has never been better than when I became a mom. I know I had great times before my little ones came, but I can't remember now what it was like without them. Here are some of the things I really would have missed if I'm not a mom... and for which I am very thankful to God.

1. Smothered in sloppy wet kisses and tight happy hugs. Children just can't get enough of kisses and hugs. And neither can I. Having four, I often run out of time just doing these and even that is not enough. I'm not complaining. It's simply the best part of being a parent. All the hard work is forgotten with just a smile, a kiss or a hug from my children.

Motherhood

I'm on a journey that has no end.

It started off with one. Mikhail, my son, was my first child. With petitions and prayers that I have for him as a mother and the desire to know my Ultimate Parent so as to parent like Him, I set off on my journey to motherhood land. Misha came as a happy, fun-loving and thoughtful fellow. So was I. I was all thoughts and intentions. It was my intent to enjoy the whole journey. Misha made it easy. God gave me all that is in a baby in him. But as most journeys are, there were surprises and twists. 

Thoughts on Pregnancy, Birth, Postpartum, Babies and Motherhood

I have just given birth to a lovely baby. Her name is Roxana. She is truly a gift from heaven.  In the few days that she has been under my care, thoughts of what it takes and what it means to be a mother has occupied my mind. So I thought of sharing them as to empty my head a li'l bit. ;)

Anyhow, if you have thoughts about birth, pregnancy, motherhood or babies that we might enjoy, feel free to send it to me through my email or pm me through Facebook. I'll include them here together with your name. Thanks... And enjoy the day!

A baby's first smiles can ease the mother's pains and aches like no other medicine can do. 

Giving birth is always an amazing experience (even at my fourth). But with it is acute pain. Pain at how frail we are. Pain at how women are cursed. If only there is no pain... But Eve listened to the serpent just as we still do now-- prone to wander, prone to sin. Giving birth is a curse. Yet even in the painful curse of giving birth, God has never left us hopeless and without mercy. For in every birth, there is empowerment, that though how weak we are, there is enough strength that God has put in us to get every mother through the painful process. And in every birth, there is a blessing, a blessing of taking part in God's wonderful work of creation. And finally, in giving birth, there is hope-- hope that God has never given up on sinful humanity. Every child born is a reminder that God is merciful and "unto us a Child is born" (Isaiah 9:6), the Savior of mankind, Jesus. That Savior was born to a woman--- a woman, weak, sinful, cursed; yet strengthened, blessed, saved through Him--- in the same painful curse of a process, called birth.

Simply God-made (Happy birthday, Sunshine!)

So grateful to be her mama...

I missed the fifth birthday of my little sunshine. My second, actually. Last year as she celebrated her birthday, I was in Korea and she was in Russia. This year, she is in the Philippines and I am in Russia. Besides that, I couldn't afford to give her any gift this year. I feel so sorry, yet knowing her, I know she will continue to be a ray of sunshine to those around her. And that's why I couldn't help but count the many gifts that she has brought into my life since we were together (almost 9 months of being in my belly, 5 years and a few days since her birth).

The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10, NIV)

I have written an account about my imperfections in Far From Perfect and have tried to make light of them. Months after, it is still my most popular post. I don't know why, but I can only guess that it is because many can relate to our desire to be perfect, yet time and again we fumble, stumble and fall. And I can also guess that by now many of us are barely clinging through our New Year's resolutions and some may even have totally quit and abandoned ship. I understand. (This coming from a "no-resolution" gal, after having been disappointed by my own imperfect self lots of times.)

Today, however, I am coming from a more hopeful place. And I wish to take you with me.

Most mornings, now that my older daughter is going to school, I sing my anthem. It goes like this, "The joy of the Lord is my strength. My mouth is full of laughter --- hahahahaha.  Hahahahahahaha-ha-hallelujah!" And mind you, I may start solo but before long I am joined by a couple of beautiful angels with rice in their hair and black sweaty rings around their necks. And before I know it, Angelika is ready for school and the attention-getting, whining, clingy Ella is all sweet and ready to bid her older sister goodbye with "Po-po e-er!" (Her way of saying, "We'll pick you up later!")

I have sang this song when I was left with the care of my two children back in Korea, while my husband had to work in another province of the same country but much, much farther away from our temporary home at that time. He was only home at weekends. I had just given birth to an adorable baby and having an active tot acting like he can't get enough of mama's attention was insanity. My husband and I thought that it would be easier for me to recover from just giving birth and take care of the baby with my son away for the day at a baby school. I agreed. Anything would do to have some semblance of normalcy. 

So every morning I got my son ready for the school bus that would pick him up (and later bring him back home), but the new baby seemed to sense that something was amiss. She would get all whiny, making all these pitiful sounds. I sweated through all the process. 

I thought it was better for me to have some time with the baby, and it was, but in exchange for an early morning madness. By the time my baby and I would see my son off to school, I was a lump of nerves. The only thing that got me through was the song--- The joy of the Lord is my strength! I would sing it and something changed in me. I seem to gain power from the Lord to do what I had to do, and my children sensed that change and are more secured, mirroring my confident, happier disposition. Thus that, that song became my anthem. I still continue to sing it now, especially during one of those mad mama moments.

One favorite writer wrote, "We are to live in the warm, genial rays of the Sun of Righteousness. Nothing but His loving compassion, His divine grace, His almighty power can enable us to baffle the relentless foe and subdue the opposition of the human heart. What is our strength? The joy of the Lord. Let the melting love of Christ fill the heart and we are softened and subdued, prepared to receive the power that He has for us" (E.G. White, The Upward Look, 238).

We have to thank God everyday for His blessings of strength, grace, forgiveness and mercy. He has given us all that is needed to get past difficulties and challenges, and to reach our highest potential. It is ridiculous to think that we can achieve perfection on our own, because come to think of it, with our puny strength, we can not. Only when we realize how futile our self-sufficiency is, are we able to draw near to God with a humble heart and fully depend upon Him. In so doing, He "engraves His own image" in our souls. It is only by beholding Christ and seeking to become like Him will we see and know that we will never be satisfied until we are complete in Him. Colossians 2:10, "And ye are complete in Him, which is the head of all principality and power."

Only Christ has the redeeming power to change us from "glory to glory". It is foolishness to think that we can do so. Our hearts, where most of our life comes from, is soiled and sin-stained, perverse and depraved; and we cannot clean it just as we cannot change the color of our skin, nor add to our own height (I'm 4'11" and still wishing for "that" 1 more inch). But praise be to God! Jesus will never neglect the work that has been placed in His hands. "Having confidence of this very thing, that He who has begun in you a good work will complete it..." (Philippians 1:6).

Be warned though that as you earnestly try to be like Jesus, the enemy will oppose you at every turn, and when you fumble and stumble and fall, he will make you discouraged and think that following Jesus is impossible. No, don't ever let him get to you. Take hold of God's mighty arm. With Him we can have the strength to, day after day, be complete and go in His strength. And everyday as we follow the Lord, we are changed; and will find ourselves tomorrow not as we are today.

As I fully depend on God daily as my source of strength, many of my mornings are redeemed. How marvelous it is to be able to smile through the sweat, rain, or tears! He fills every spaces of our hearts with joy, flowing through the cracks of our brokenness and into every crevices of our lives, our families and our communities. In our joy in Him, we find strength for our homes and our everyday for He completes us.

Whatever is your struggle today, find your joy in Him to get you through in His strength. Yes, sing it with me: "The joy of the Lord is my strength! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-hallelujah!"

Toddler Time is...

So, I have a toddler. My third, actually. Though kids are their cutest during this time, it's also the time when they wreak havoc the most. So let me define toddler time to get some sense out of it... and hope that I get some lighthearted time out of, phew! stress-inducing moments and some wisdom too.

Toddler time is...