First, Second, Third

It has been awhile. Life has been busy with many things distracting my attention from what really occupies my heart. I had been feeling heavy, and when I do, it is harder to make sense of things and to put them down either on paper or here on my blog. Besides, I don't want to mess up with your own heart, friends, or even with your minds.

So bravely today, I am going to try to sort out with the mess inside and to see what goes and who stays. Just like spring cleaning!
Tho summer is here, I believe it's not too late to do some sort of sorting. Here goes...

•Last season's fashion or outgrown teenage clothes. Some are too tight, others are too girlish. Eh, throw them away? They may make a comeback. Maybe I will just let them stay? Nah. I think they will occupy too much space, then there will be no room enough for this season's new fashion. Yes, that's what to do. To the trash they go!

What am I talking about here? It's the old grudge that's keeping me from being hip and free. So things  happened before with certain people that I don't much like. Well, those things happened before. They are old and they keep me from undertaking new experiences. They have outgrown their purpose, so why should I keep them when I can start anew? Wipe the slate clean and make new experiences, even with the same people, and see that by your new forgiving attitude a new relationship develops. 

•Ratty, flimsy, old underwear. All right. Why do I even have to keep them? Maybe because I'm too cheap to buy new and good quality undies, and happy with the rags? Well, I don't have to keep them, so off they go!

It is essential that the unseen ones are made of the best quality, for they not only give covering but also support. It's hard to think or even move around knowing that your support will break any minute. And I'm not only talking about underwear. I'm talking more about our inner resolve. What is my fixed purpose? If I am swayed from one side to the other, what does that make me? A double-minded man. (James 1:6-8) And double-minded people never get to achieve anything. They are too afraid.

Fear is a flimsy support for reaching dreams. Let go of them. Instead, go with faith, do what you have to do, conquer and be victorious.

•Pearl of Great Price. Too precious to let go. It can only be acquired by letting go of everything. And I mean, all--- friends, dreams, comfort... even husband and wife. Radical? Yes. It is staying for It is life. 

In the parable of the Pearl (Matthew 13:44), the merchant sold all that he had--- yes, even his wife and children--- to get that Pearl. Ridiculous, but true. Only in having The Pearl, Christ, will life ever be worth its worth. And only in having Him, will we redeem all other things in our lives--- as that merchant, I believe, got to redeem his family back.

Jesus is our Redeemer. I have witnessed Him redeem my time, my talents, my relationships, myself from all sinful ways. No one can do it, except Him.

•Marriage. Okay, so this can't be found in my closet, but in my heart... and it stays. I value my marriage too much to let it go. Or more like, I love my husband too much to let him go. I value my marriage to him over many things. Over my love for books (I sometimes do without them to spend time with my him or to give some place to other things like groceries or children's books), over my writing, over shopping, over girlfriends, over my intense jealousy of his love for fishing... among other things.

•Adorable, sticky kids. After marriage, comes my kids. I won't let them go unless they have to or God asks me to (just as He did with Abraham. But only in looking to Him as a God of love and justice can I perhaps do it. Oh, this heart is weak.) I am stuck to them... And I like it.

All right, I got my heart spaces figured out and now have some room to breathe. Trash goes to the bin, God to first place, husband to second, and children to third.

I just realized that when God takes His rightful place in my heart, everything else falls into place. And it feels just right!

Who occupies the spaces in your heart?