Better Dreamer

Something about racing gets me on the edge of my seat, and off of it, jumping, waving and shouting wildly. I usually avoid being IN the race as I am very slow. Really slow.

I remember being in my P.E. class running with a classmate and being evaluated by our P.E. teacher. My running mate got to the end of the track while I still labored on huffing and puffing my way to it. Even with all the effort I made, I was still extremely slow that our PE teacher can’t help but ask, “Are you running or walking?”

I admit I dreamed back then of being fast. I would race past other runners, with the crowd cheering wildly for me as I run to the FINISH and I get the prize.

But I've realized that I am running in a different race now, with a prize given not to the fastest, but the single-minded, stouthearted and surrendered. The apostle Paul has said, "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace" (Acts 20:24). 

A few years ago, God started to become real to me after I experienced Him in the doctor's clinic. It started with a lot of knee-knocking fear, but that fear abated at the sight of God's awesome power and the fact that HE RULES. As I admitted that my human-ness is nothing to His God-ness, I felt so relieved! I can't handle myself, much more the world and knowing that God is in complete control of the tiny creatures as well as the big, wide universe gave me so much freedom.

I began to dream better dreams. They often keep me awake at nights, thoughts roiling inside me, making me sit up and write. Dreams that are bigger than me, bigger than the world I know. It is insanely wonderful! And then I knew, Somebody bigger than me, bigger than the world, wants to live these dreams in me… and it humbles me. And scares me too!

God wants my life. He gave it, died for it, and who am I to deny Him that? As Jennie Allen wrote, "God was writing a story for my life I never would have written." He wants to write my story, too, as He has done and is doing with so many who have given their ALL to Him. His dreams may take me far from what is familiar and comfortable and safe and they may not be easy, but I want that. I want His dreams. They have been my dreams. I want life. A life, of which dreams are made of... ever in company with Him, and to see His glory in my life.

Left on my own, I don't think I will have dreams these good. 'Cause honestly, there won't be anything noble that will come out of my selfish heart. God has a way of changing hearts. When He loved us, died for us, redeemed us despite of our messiness, we can't help but love Him back... and dream better dreams.

If you feel the Holy Spirit's nudge to dream better, the way God's dreams for us always are, take the time to reflect on His Words and ask Him, "Lord, what do you want to do for me?" Then watch and wait. Give God the space to work in you and in your life; and willingly wait to do His bidding. Better dreams take time. Do what is before you now. It is a step to fulfilling His dream for you.



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