In the Midst of our Mess, Love Moves

It was ten years ago when my husband and I exchanged vows to love, honor and cherish each other. And at that time (and many other times), we asked God to help us love like He does.

But it took a lot of conflict, of making up, of learning and of growing up to do so. Not that we are close to loving like Him now than we were before, but we finally understood what it is like, what it takes and, yet, we still badly want to love each other like Him.

If only we knew what we know now, then we would have escaped many difficult times. But then, the Master Teacher knows best. We are just the students, reluctant to go through the process and to delve deep into the lessons, afraid of what it would entail and demand from us, but desiring so much to learn. Being in God's classroom of marriage, however, and experiencing what God wants was all worth the upheaval and work.

I wish I knew, really knew...

Having fun in marriage takes more than half off the work. To make marriage work, have fun.

No man is a mind reader. Communicate. Mind the setting, the timing, and your manners when you do.

Deciding and doing things without a spouse's enthusiastic agreement is bound to hurt him/ her, and the marriage.

When God said, "Do not commit adultery", He is commanding all married couples never to do anything that will hurt their spouses. Anything that takes away the affection from one's spouse, and replaces his/her place in the other's life is an illicit lover.

In marriage, as in a family, one's problem is everybody's problem. One's victory is everybody's victory.

Laughing together patches up wounds. Talking with each other heals the wounds. Minding each other erases scars. Doing things for each other keeps away hurts.

Even the best babysitter burns out. Take turns. Take time-outs.

Children can kill romance if allowed. They are also great cheerleaders for two old romantics.

Marriage is not about perfection. It's about grace. Be gracious--- to your spouse and yourself.

Anger, hatred and bitterness don't have a place in the head and heart of a person loved beautifully. God loves us so.

When God puts two people together, it is for a purpose. Trust His purpose.

Marriage is not primarily about our happiness, but about our transformation.

Marriage is messy. It is a beautiful mess when God is in the midst of it, where each spouse is in the process of growing. Just think, He turned something 'without form or void' into something 'very good' (Genesis 1). And in the same way He turned water into wine (John 2), He can turn a drained out marriage into one that is full of joy and love. All it takes is a resolute stand on His Word.

"Whatever He says to you, do it" (John 2:5).

Inviting God everyday into my marriage is inviting love to move in it. Love endures. Choosing love, my marriage can last forever, for God is in the long haul of it--- all and every part of it.

Isaiah 46:9-10 says,

Remember your history, your long history.
I am God, the only one you've had or ever will have--- incomparable, irreplaceable---
From the very beginning telling you what the ending will be,
All along letting you in on what is going to happen,
Assuring you, "I'm in this for the long haul, I'll do exactly what I set out to do." (MSG)

Ten years ago, I knew that the Author of Love was the one writing our love story. Today I still believe that He does. But I also know that He can only write our story beautiful when we allow Him to. He sure is the Creator of all things beautiful. I am grateful to have walked this journey with my husband.

During our wedding, after my parents 'gave' me to him, my groom then and me as his bride, walked side by side towards the altar, with our hands clasped. My prayer is for us to continue walking together hand in hand towards God's dream for us, our story unfolding so marvelously.

I wish the same for your marriage.

You may also like to read...

One Marriage Advice
Want to Run Away from Marriage? Here are 3 Reasons Why You Can Stay
No Fairy Tale


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