It's that time of the year when cards and gifts with hearts are on display, love songs fill up the air, and lovebirds coo and make googly eyes to each other. It's February when phrases like "love at first sight", "endless love", "soul mates", "fall in love", "crazy in love" are tossed around like confetti in the air. It's that time when romantic emotions run high and fast... but, do they last?
I am not an expert in love, or marriage, or any relationship at all. And what I am about to write here may not seem so important to some, but I am writing as I have seen (far too often recently) the effects of "love" gone bad or sour... or if it was love at all. I wish my single friends to avoid the confusion of the real thing with infatuation.
I have heard about "love at first sight", but it has only been recently that I heard someone said that he fell in love at second sight. I thought it was a joke. But as I mulled it over my head, I thought, "Wouldn't it be wiser to fall in love at the 30th sight? Or the 40th, or 50th?" But you may argue, "But you can't choose whom you love and when you love!"
Yes, you can... because love is not simply a feeling of attraction or the excitement of having captured a "prize"... it goes way beyond that (J. Dobson, Emotions: Can You Trust Them?). Love goes through the ups and downs of life, all perked up one moment and bland at another moment, then goes up to high heavens and down again as manipulated by the circumstances of life. But love stays true regardless of the circumstances, because you choose to!
Love has been distorted in music, movies, TV and fiction, and people think it is the real thing. Dr. Dobson cited some songs that especially shows of how screwed our thinking is when it comes to love. But here, I am going to cite other songs. Take this for example: "Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name." How in the world can you profess love to a person who you don't even know, much more his or her name? (Someone is feisty today. Heh...) And here's another song that highly predicts a failed marriage, "Marry me... If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe." And, "I knew I loved you before I met you." Huh? Obviously, these people are in love with the idea of love.
What is love? Well, Dobson said (and I agree), that love is not that mushy feeling that "lasts only until the next attractive person comes or until it is to one's advantage to stay". Real love is a growing devotion to a person, knowing his good points and his limitations, and accepting him anyway. It grows with each passing moment as it is cultivated and time is invested. It rejoices in celebrations, hopes in the lowest points of life, and holds on, giving and caring, and making the most of every situation. It intends to go for the long haul, working, bouncing over life road's patches and boulders, but focusing on the goal--- and that is to love.
Does this sound like something we "fall" into--- like falling down a cliff or a ditch? No. Love is something we "grow", like cultivating a garden. When both parties strive to love, "esteeming (the) other better than" themselves, each one building each other up no matter the circumstances, filling each other's needs (and not as they want to be filled), and growing together; then love grows, blossoms, bears fruit and multiplies--- around us and within us... even to the next generation.
It is the same relationship that our Creator desires with us, and what He wants His creations to have. A love rooted in the knowledge and experience of Him--- Him loving us, knowing all that is in us and still accepting us no matter what. It is a love that celebrates life with us, sharing in our sorrows, and conquering death. It is a love that abides, and in abiding grows, blossoms, bears fruit and multiplies--- around us and within us...and who knows how many more generations to come.
We need THIS love... the REAL love. Don't settle for less.
You may also want to read...
Living a Miracle
No Fairy Tale
Far, Yet So Near
I am not an expert in love, or marriage, or any relationship at all. And what I am about to write here may not seem so important to some, but I am writing as I have seen (far too often recently) the effects of "love" gone bad or sour... or if it was love at all. I wish my single friends to avoid the confusion of the real thing with infatuation.
I have heard about "love at first sight", but it has only been recently that I heard someone said that he fell in love at second sight. I thought it was a joke. But as I mulled it over my head, I thought, "Wouldn't it be wiser to fall in love at the 30th sight? Or the 40th, or 50th?" But you may argue, "But you can't choose whom you love and when you love!"
Yes, you can... because love is not simply a feeling of attraction or the excitement of having captured a "prize"... it goes way beyond that (J. Dobson, Emotions: Can You Trust Them?). Love goes through the ups and downs of life, all perked up one moment and bland at another moment, then goes up to high heavens and down again as manipulated by the circumstances of life. But love stays true regardless of the circumstances, because you choose to!
Love has been distorted in music, movies, TV and fiction, and people think it is the real thing. Dr. Dobson cited some songs that especially shows of how screwed our thinking is when it comes to love. But here, I am going to cite other songs. Take this for example: "Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name." How in the world can you profess love to a person who you don't even know, much more his or her name? (Someone is feisty today. Heh...) And here's another song that highly predicts a failed marriage, "Marry me... If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this cafe." And, "I knew I loved you before I met you." Huh? Obviously, these people are in love with the idea of love.
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| I choose to love... tied together for life! |
What is love? Well, Dobson said (and I agree), that love is not that mushy feeling that "lasts only until the next attractive person comes or until it is to one's advantage to stay". Real love is a growing devotion to a person, knowing his good points and his limitations, and accepting him anyway. It grows with each passing moment as it is cultivated and time is invested. It rejoices in celebrations, hopes in the lowest points of life, and holds on, giving and caring, and making the most of every situation. It intends to go for the long haul, working, bouncing over life road's patches and boulders, but focusing on the goal--- and that is to love.
Does this sound like something we "fall" into--- like falling down a cliff or a ditch? No. Love is something we "grow", like cultivating a garden. When both parties strive to love, "esteeming (the) other better than" themselves, each one building each other up no matter the circumstances, filling each other's needs (and not as they want to be filled), and growing together; then love grows, blossoms, bears fruit and multiplies--- around us and within us... even to the next generation.
It is the same relationship that our Creator desires with us, and what He wants His creations to have. A love rooted in the knowledge and experience of Him--- Him loving us, knowing all that is in us and still accepting us no matter what. It is a love that celebrates life with us, sharing in our sorrows, and conquering death. It is a love that abides, and in abiding grows, blossoms, bears fruit and multiplies--- around us and within us...and who knows how many more generations to come.
We need THIS love... the REAL love. Don't settle for less.
You may also want to read...
Living a Miracle
No Fairy Tale
Far, Yet So Near
Two thumbs-up for you luv!God bless you and your family.I am blessed..
ReplyDeleteThanks, Chu. Hoping the best of God's blessings for you and your family too!
DeleteWe're created in His image, therefore, we can only fully reflect His image in a relationship. Because that's where we're able to give and receive love from each other.
ReplyDeleteYou are right, seongyosa. We cannot fully love without God. To know Him is to love.
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