Rest: Jesus' Secret to a Well-Balanced Life

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Most days I run around the house trying to get things done before going to work or before going to bed at midnight. These 'must do' tasks sometimes just bobs up in the surface like a hard to clean pan that I must scrub bright or a cleaning supervisor will suddenly appear over my shoulder and "Tsk tsk" me for a job not done well. I have gotten to the point where I am confused which things I really should do.

Then I got sick. And gone is the strength that powered me as I zoomed my way through the hours of the day (and night). I was left with mounds of dirty laundry and ironing that I did anyway even though I didn't want to, and meals to cook even when I didn't want to eat. All I wanted was to disappear between the blankets, soothe my pounding head with the calming sound of my throaty, labored breathing.

Mount Up with Wings: Flying by More Than Just the Seat of the Pants

And so... it has been a week since the old year has been gone and the new year has begun. I am glad and grateful to see another year in my life. God is good!

How are you doing with your resolutions so far? As with every new year, I am often pressed to make new year's resolutions but it has been years since I had given up making a go at it. Instead I have brought before God in prayers my goals and dreams, and the intentions in my heart to live rightly, hoping fervently that He guides me every step of the way to fulfill them.

However, the past years had come with lots of surprises, pretty unexpected ones at that, and I was often left trying to swim through or wing it out by the seat of my pants (Ouch! Sounds painful). So, to counteract all this uncertain happenings, I am going to have a goal to make a goal. (So far, this week has given me  a bit of momentum. I have a list! Yay! :D)

And here's what I have in mind...

Heal Our Hearts

"Home is where the heart is..."

And so, it has been said. But when your heart doesn't know where home is, then it has done too much wandering, making homes wherever one wanders. Wander woman.

Year 2015 is almost to run out. But here I am still not yet ready to welcome in the new year. This year has brought too much instability for my little heart that it doesn't even know whether it's home or not. Maybe it's still wandering when it's already home?

I have my stuff in luggages for a long time now... y'know, having to go back and forth between three countries. Somehow this new year seemed to find me still in such a state with my bags still packed even when I'm already home.

Taking Roots: Home, Sweet Home

It has been excruciating for me not to blog or write. Or even think. The past few months have been very strange. Life, though, went as usual, but I felt like a stranger to myself. I wasn't enjoying what I usually found enjoyable, and instead was drifting. The only explanation I could give was that I was trying to adjust to being transplanted, while at the same time finding my roots again. It wasn't an easy journey as seen by the number of blogs  produced in the past five months. But it sure is awesome after finally making sense of what is happening with me.

I have God to thank for, and the people and circumstances, and even a TV show, that showed me what I have been missing for years. (And here I thought I don't watch TV :)) I realized that I have lost my roots. For the many years I have been trying to fly--- away from home and to the places I wanted to be and the person I thought I will be--- I had forgotten that one still needs a home after all the flying is done.

"Let There Be Light!"

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Only when in darkness do we long and reach out for light. Like...

• Those moments when I get the urge to write and I can't turn on the light because I was sure it'd wake my husband up. (That's why he has a no-lamp rule in the bedrooms.) So I just write in the darkness hoping that by the morrow I could read what I've written.

• Brownout. It's the only time I would risk tripping and falling on my nose while searching for candles or for a flashlight. Before that, they don't matter.

• Those teenage years when God's Word, the light unto my path, was shoved in the farthest corner of my life and I lived like a caveman. I was glad when I finally got to live in the light.

• Those three long days after typhoon Haiyan. I was like in a tunnel, praying desperately to come to the light, yet so afraid I wasn't going to see the dawn of light. But it did come. God made sure of it even before the storm.

Sun on My Smog

It was one of those days. Bright on the outside, but smoggy on the inside. Not that there's real smog floating around. Just me carried around by clouds, flitting or floating around without a single clue of what gives.

It must be the "vacation" I'm in. I mean, since living and working abroad, being back in the Philippines constitutes being on a vacation. It has all that a vacation has, except, I'm doing without a visit to the beach and I still wake up when my 'rooster' (my early-riser baby) starts crowing. Having this break from the usual schedule of kids, chores and work has sort of given me a time-off from my stressed lifestyle and allowed me to relax. Maybe I've relaxed too much that I've let myself go.

When Less Is More

It's the middle of the day and I'm looking at a small peso bill. What can it buy? Several diapers and a little food for the baby, some toiletries, but maybe not enough to give some to my friend for food for the week. Fear jumped on me. And worry started to woo me. Then as suddenly as it came, I remembered how God made Himself real to me by His Word, and worry was stopped in its tracks. I can still vividly remember that night...